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It was the labor room. My mom was clutching my hand harder than I was clutching hers. It was my baby that was to be born, I was in pain, and so was she. She cried harder than I did, longer than I did, felt hurt more than I did. The baby came out of me, a baby boy, and he was taken outside. Everyone, all my relatives including my husband were hovering around the baby, busy being emotional at the tiny tot, but there was this one person who still had eyes only for me.
The baby became precious to everyone else, but to my mother, I became more precious. She kept stroking my head after all the trauma. I opened my eyes and the first thing she tells me is a sorry, sorry to have given birth to a girl. A boy wouldn't have undergone so much pain was her explanation. She was still crying. She said she was angry with my baby for a second for the pain he gave me. That was when I realized three things,
1. I always thought labor was painful, but the day I truly appreciated what my mother went through was on the day of my labor. I could empathize with her and I finally understood her pain.
2. I will be the most precious person to her, no matter who may come along or what may come along!
3. She is the one person who will always be there for me, not my husband, not my siblings- she will be the one by my side.
Even after my baby was born, she always took me as a priority! Just always!
As I grew up, I realized her importance, I realized what she did for me and I realized that being mother isn't an easy task. When I realized that, I decided to repay back to her. I waited for my opportunity. My opportunity came when she underwent a major surgery. I was married by then. I insisted on staying in the hospital with her. I insisted on staying at home and take over all her responsibilities for ten days. I did everything I could till the time she got better. After that episode, I thought I would be able to repay her back. But, no! I couldn't repay back what she did to me. I realized I can never repay completely even if I helped her everyday. So, I decided to help her everyday, either by being emotionally supportive or being physically supportive.
She is a patient, from fifteen years. She goes to the hospital for her visits alone, she gets her treatment done alone, she never complains and in turn she always accompanies us to hospitals or shopping, whichever we needed. Though she is a patient, the amount of work she does everyday is far beyond what even the fittest of us can do. How can she do so much work, my husband keeps wondering.
When I tell all the people around me that I got a job, she is the one who talks most about it. When I tell everyone that I lost a few pounds, she is the one who keeps talking about it. When I spoke about relationships, she was my friend enough to listen patiently and never to judge me. Can I have a better friend than her? When I say that I cried the before night because of stress, she is at my home the next day to make things easier for me and then she keeps distracting me for the next few days. She looks after my baby, better than even me. All she does is just give!
I always used to think that my mother had no expectations in return of her immense sacrifices. When she has no expectations, how can I repay her, right? But, I realized that she does have one expectation- to be heard. She has views, opinions, happy things and sad things to share. All she wants is for one of us to actually listen to her. Sometimes, when she calls, it's not because she wants to hear me ranting about my stress levels, it is because she wants to share something that bothers her. She is least heard person in the family. Hardly anyone has an inclination into her troubles. That is when I decided to repay back to her. Listen to her, just everyday. No matter how stressful my day might be, no matter what I may go through, I speak with her whenever she needs me. For an hour, for two hours, doesn't matter. I will be her friend who listens to all her whims. And I feel somewhere that I have started to repay her. At least she is happy when she talks to me. She is relieved and that is all that matters.
#Miss you mom!