I have experienced a lot of new mommy's talk explicitly about motherhood and how difficult it is being a mom! Some of their thoughts are indeed genuine, but some are a result of the hormonal turmoil whih makes them reactive rather than responsive. The physical aspects of pregnancy can only be experienced by the mother (no second thoughts to that); but emotionally your partner is equally involved. I have heard very few women talk about the contribution of their husband; rather, when new mommies get together, they start demeaning the father of their child. The word Parenthood starts dying a natural death.
As you sit complaining to your friends that your husband does not listen, or rather he intervenes too much, you don't realise that your child is getting impacted by your negativity. Your child may be too little to understand your words, but not your expressions. Eventually, this becomes a habit and you unconsciously start raising an unhealthy child who has always seen his beautiful mom angry or frustrated or sad.
Let me help you realise how special your child's father is:
- For heaven's sake you did not become a mother on your own. Think about his contribution, without which you would not have become a mother.
- Your hubby stood by your every tantrum during pregnancy. Believe me this is one thing all husband's are scared of, but sail through it 'with' you so that you get all the comfort.
- He gave you comfort at the time of child birth or just before you left for your c-sec.
- While you were busy fighting with your hormones, you did not realise his backward calculation of future expenses and the like, just to give you and your new baby a life of leisure outside the 3 days of hospital stay.
- With their evolving role, father's today have started taking interest in child-rearing. Most father's get up at night, change diapers, bathe the child, change their clothes, bottle-feed babies, sing a lullaby and contribute to practically everything minus breast-feeding. Their role is no more restricted to teaching a child how to walk, or in becoming the primary play companion. They have started understanding the importance of the term 'Father-figure'. (Am sure most of your mom's would feel jealous that your father never did what your husband does today)
- Your husband wants to see his child the whole day, but cannot due to official responsibilities. Unconsciously, his office bars him from seeing every little development of his child when he is at work. Respect his situation.
- Did you realise that at times / most times, your husband would be the one pushing you to take a shower as the baby is sleeping and he would promise to take care of things in case the baby wakes up?
- Your hubby would have hired a cleaner / cook for you so that you get some time to yourself.
Motherhood is never and will never be a piece of cake... Well neither is fatherhood! Both have their own challenges and overcoming them together is what results in healthy parenting. Remember, parents together play a critical role in the cognitive, behavioural and general health of children. We sure want to raise confident and smart children and this will happen when we unconscioualy demonstrate how we really compliment each other and stand by each other when needed.