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When PV Sandhu was giving her all to win the badminton Gold in Olympics, what were 'boys' of our country doing? Lecherously watching her opponent Carolina Marin of Spain and commenting -Wah ! Kya Maal hai!
What does a ludicrous statement like that means?
At one go they dismissed the grit and capability of these two girls who played maybe the best game of their lives! With these four words they reduced the dignity of an Olympic match to some pornography show! They were probably masturbating mentally with their sick minds and then ejaculating their sickness on whatsapp sharing it with like-minded friends! And to keep their pretence of sporting spirit and respectability typing emoticons of thumbs up and claps on whatsapp group with not- so- sick minds!
By 'boys' I do not refer to boys by age but to those Indian males who have not matured mentally, be they 15 years old or 70 years old
And before we condone it with a dismissing statement that 'Boys will be boys!' let's consider that this psyche is responsible for the violent crimes against women in our country! This psyche is responsible for bringing shame to our country in the form of sexual attacks on foreign women tourists!
Mind you, these four words were not uttered by some illiterate labourer coming from lowest strata of society with no proper outlet for his sexual frustration! These four words came most certainly from some male sitting comfortably in his 'respectable ' drawing room with his wife preparing dinner for him and maybe a daughter or two playing in the same room. And this profile is what makes it terrifying! A white collared job, persona of a family man, 'respectability' in society and behind all these masks ugly face of a lecher!!
This is the profile of all those males who are hiding amongst us with their true faces unknown! These are the males who behind their wives' backs are soliciting the pimps to send 'Maal ' in their hotel rooms. These are the male who drool over 'firangi' women and presume them to be easy game. These are the males who fold their hands in 'namaste' or 'chivalrously'pulls a chair for a woman they just met in a party and then wink at their like-minded friend and utter ' yaar kya Maal hai' These very males haunt lounges and bars bidding their 'like-minded' friends to introduce them to their female friends or colleagues who are 'easy' to bed with. "Yaar Kisi Maal se milwayega ya mujhe khud intezaam karna hoga?" ( will you introduce me to some 'Maal' or I have to make my own arrangements!) These are the males who hire their female employees less on merit and more on the potential of their being available as 'Maal' . These males when they walk into their friends office may not comment on the success of his enterprise but sure enough pat comes the comment for his female employees- "kya mast Maal ko receptionist rakha hai yaar! Hamein bhiintroduce karao!"( you have hired a sexy receptionist! Introduce me too) . These are the males who make it hard for a single women (unmarried, divorced or widow) to make it on her own in the society if they are not willing to be available as 'Maal' to them. They will assassinate her character more if she is unavailable to them than if they get access to the 'Maal'.
These kind of males have only two boxes in their minds to tick whenever they come across any women be it their colleague, their dentist, doctor, lawyer, their kid's teacher, wive's friends, daughter's friends, wives of friends, student, co-traveller, casual acquaintance , strangers , anyone born in female gender. The two boxes are :-
1. Is she a Maal
2. Is she not a Maal.
If she is a Maal then another two boxes-
1. She is available
2. She is not available.
They keep on ticking these boxes disregarding her every accomplishment, quality and feelings. These males feel proud of their sons if they follow their own pervert footsteps and feel disappointed if their sons lack their 'manliness' and grow into gentlemen! These very same males clip the wings of their daughters, sisters and wives, dictating everything from the dresses they wear to careers they pursue as they never trust other men. How can they? They must be hearing the same phrase in other male minds for the women of their family- 'Wah kya Maal hai!'
These four words encapsulate what is primarily wrong with our male dominated society. This collective psyche which objectifies woman to a mere sexual toy, reducing her to 'Maal' is the reason women are cheated, abused, molested, raped, trafficked! These four words summarises the apathy of our society, law enforcement agencies, judiciary, policy makers, politicians when it comes to providing security and justice to women in our country!
I refer such insensitive, depraved person as 'males'. Never once I refer them as 'Men' because they have not evolved yet into one!
It's not that we don't have sensitive, evolved, honourable, intelligent men in our country. Our country is blessed to have so many of them too. Unfortunately these gentlemen have become enablers of these males! They are too silent! Their passivity emboldens these 'vultures'. I ask you gentlemen how many times since your childhood have you taken stand against these men for the women who were not your sister or girlfriend? Did you stop your class-mate when he was eve- teasing? You were maybe uncomfortable but silent! How many times have you snubbed a friend or a colleague when he made snide remarks about a female! You were maybe embarrassed but silent! How many times have you heard a friend or colleague refer to women as 'Maal'? How many times did you ask him not to use this derogatory term? You may justify your silence by saying its just a commonly used word, a mere expression. What’s so wrong with it? Yes, it is so commonly used that we as a society has become desensitised to the inherent insult it purports! Why we even have scores of Bollywood songs to sing and gyrate too like “Tucheez badi hai mast mast”. We hear our superstars and idols say the same and emulate them. Our movies and television are reflection of insensitivity and depravity of these males and cater to their tastes to make them take out their money for the tickets!
It’s not merely an innocuous word ! It is certainly a derogatory word. It is preceded by depraved thinking and succeeded by depraved actions!
How many times did you advise your friend not to solicit pimps or make female their sexual targets? How many times did you think of warning their girlfriends or wives? Next to never! You probably just smiled and said indulgently 'Tharki hai Saala!' The way ‘Tharki’ is said it hears more as a compliment than as label for lewd, lascivious and pervert! And the ‘Tharki’ doesn’t hang his head in shame on being called so but wears it as an honour, as badge of his maleness! What upside-down world we are living in?
Please understand that your silence enables the predator in these males! You make them believe by your passivity that derogation of women is the accepted norm! Until you don't make them realise that this indecent behaviour is not acceptable how they will know that they are 'perverts' not normal 'men'.
Paradoxically it must have been they who must have bullied you or made fun of you because you were decent gentlemen! You must have felt defensive about your goodness rather than proud of your 'normal decency!'
Till you remain silent, nothing is ever going to change the status of women in our country- no news hour debates, no women protective laws, no Olympic gold medals won by girls, nothing. So do something, say something! Don't be a mute embarrassed spectator or smiling indulgent friend!
Next time you hear a male referring a woman as 'Wah! Kya Maal hai' the least you can do is ask that pervert mouth to 'Shut up!'
As mothers let's teach our sons to be real men who doesn't think of girls as 'Maal' . As mothers let's teach our daughters to be wary of boys who treat her as 'Maal'
Note- 'Maal' in hindi means a thing. In context to women it is a common derogatory term meaning loosely referring to her as sexual object.