We are friends with our building friends, school friends, college friends, office friends, friends of friends, online friends and so on.. Its such a strange relation. Some friendships though don't get carried forward leave a huge impression on our life. There are friends whom you can call middle of the night and they would be there. Just call them and tell them "khana khane chale", and they will be ready but with an expected reply ,"teri treat?". Then some would call for an ice cream at 12 in the night. Then there are friends who dont meet often but will always message you or call you to know how you are and will always pray for your wellbeing.
Friends are an integral part of our life. We just cannot do without them. We need them the way we need air to breathe. How can we forget the story of Krishna & Sudama's friendship. It was a friendship based on trust, respect and true love for a friend.
I have many good friends and my bestest being my hubby with whom I can share anything. And after him my dear daughter, who is just 2 years old but she is and always will be my best friend because I can share and talk to her all my feelings without expecting any strong reaction from her but just one warm hug and cute smile. And the way she listens as if she has understood everything; ).
I have a good friendship with my parents too. They were always aware where I am, what I am doing and who are my friends; whether it was school, college or office. And I used to inform them not by force but because I wanted to. My parents never stopped me from doing anything. They were confident of me because of the rapport I had with them.
This is the friendship I admire the most, the friendship between a parent and child. The era which our children belong to has lot of distractions which if not taken care of can take our children to wrong directions and to the path of self distruction. Children whether in their teens or as adults have shown lot of sucidal tendencies lately. This is because they do not have an open communication with their parents. When in trouble they do not want to share or seek any assistance of their parents. This might be due to fear of scoldings, punishments and getting ashamed of something which is not acceptable by the parents. If we take our children as our friend and build that confidence in them that they can share everything and talk about anything to us, it will definitely bring them out of this stressfull life which has a lot of peer and social pressure. Researchers have found that parents who have a friend like relation with their children have higher-quality relation and lower deliquency. But here, one has to keep some limits. A Parent-Child friendship should have warmth, care, affection, understanding along with authority, respect and certain limits. To make sure none of them take each other for granted ; discipline must play a major part here. All families have rules set by elders. They should not be broken. Keep friendship and rules seperate. None of them should feel that there is lot of interference in each others life. Nowadays, children want there own space. They do not like their parents to ask them their whereabouts. But this can be tackled if there is mutual respect and understanding betweeen the parent and child. Kids expect their parents to be the best parent not their best friend. Its difficult to establish a true friendship in this relation which is binded by moral values.
However, a parent child friendship element can be included in earlier child development stage. The sooner the better. We need not wait to be friends when they are adults. One needs to be disciplined but not necessary drill rules in their mind every now and then. For eg. Saying no to certain behaviour or actions along with explaining the consequences will build confidence and trust. Having an open communication, patient hearing, acceptance, respect, trust, confidence and a warm hug will make a lot of difference. But certainly it is upto our kids that when they become an adult, they still want to see you as their friend or just parents.
Even I do not know whether my daughter who agrees to me when I ask her, "you my best friend naa", and says in her cute voice,"haan"; will continue considering me her good friend when she grows into an adult, even though she makes bunch of good friends of her age. But me and my husband will try our best to build that confidence & trust in her that we can also be her good friend for life.