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No parent is good or bad. It is very annoying to hear someone say that she/he is a bad parent or doesn’t know how to take care of the child. No one can judge parenting skills. Each parent has a different way of bringing up their kids. Some are austere and some very lenient. It doesn’t mean that if you are an easy going parent your kids will be spoil brats or if you are stringent they will turn out to be rebellious. There are many factors which shape up the personality of a child. Children also get inclined by their surroundings and people around them.
We always endeavor to do our best and excel in our school, college or office. Then why not as parents we try to improvise our approach towards our children? A few augmentations in our parenting style can make a lot of difference in our children’s life.
7 simple things a parent can do for the child which will benefit him in the long run and face challenges of life with a strong will.
The effects of T.V on children are not good. They tend to be less active, obese, get inspired in a negative way, present risky behavior and try to copy whatever they see.
So how can we reduce this menace?
2. Yummy Unhealthy Junk food- We all love pizzas, pastas, burgers, fries, chaat items, vada pav, samosa, and what not. They sound and look so interesting and yummy. They don’t even need any aggressive marketing.
We not only prefer junk food for their taste but also the convenience to cook and eat attached with them. Due to our busy lifestyle, we prefer all fast-food items.
So how can one cut down on these unhealthy items? Though it is not easy, but worth giving a try.
-Do not buy junk food or ready to eat items and stock up at home. Buy fruits instead.
- Some advance planning and preparation for busy people on weekends can do wonders.
-Prepare a meal chart and stock up things accordingly. When you crave for junk eat fruits or salads.
-For people always on the toes, and who stop by fast food joints, carry dry fruits along with you. Or prepare wraps like paneer or egg for some energetic snack and can even be carried.
- Prepare a realistic plan
-Take help of maids or family members to help you cook healthy food.
-Sometimes it is the stress which draws us towards our cravings. Try diverting your mind by listening to music, taking a walk or reading a book.
Children who are exposed to junk food from a young age are prone to risky health conditions like diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, heart diseases, etc.
-Keep healthy snacks, fruits handy so that kids can themselves eat them when hungry.
-If you eat healthy, your children will also follow. Take them to supermarkets and let them pick healthy food. -Bribing kids with junk food is common and easy way out. Please avoid it
Eliminating junk food completely will attract them more towards it. Let them have the same at parties or friends place in moderation.
3. Parenting first – Being friends with your kids is important, but being a best parent is most important. It is very complicating. Reminding your kids that after all you are an experienced adult and they should respect this and never take you for granted. You are their protector and so if you set rules for them, you expect them to follow. Guide them rather than getting involved into their lives and interfering every move. Trying too hard to be their friends and parents simultaneously can be stressing and exhausting. Do not share all problems or secrets with them. They might not be matured enough to handle the truth of life. Let them be independent rather than dependent on you.
4.Will you help me? – We all feel a little awkward when our kids start helping us with the household chores. For them it is just fun. But it is important to inculcate certain learning values in them. When children contribute in household activities they feel a sense of responsibility.
The activities should be appropriate as per their age. Toddlers can help by taking care of their toys/books, putting them back in their respective drawers. Older children can help by setting up dinner table, helping arrange groceries, help in folding clothes, water the plants. Teenagers can help buy groceries & vegetables from market, dusting, help dry clothes, dry crockery/cutlery and put away in respective places.
But make sure everything is done under supervision. It will make them not only responsible but productive and will inculcate a helping nature. It is good to provide some kind of appreciation either by words or some allowance especially to older children to motivate them more.
5. Mummy Papa, play with me – You must be hearing this from your kids, “mere saath khelo”. Children don’t only need toys/books, friends and extra activities to keep themselves busy, they need us. What is the point in buying an expensive game when you have no time to play with them? Spending time with our children doesn’t means that we just sit, put on the T.V for them and we get busy on our laptop or mobile. If you are a very busy person, have backlogs to finish at home, still dedicate atleast one hour daily to your kid. Ask what happened in school, does she have any problems, play with her, read stories, and make them sleep. Go to parks, play and take walks with them.
Remember that busy days will come and go but not the valuable time spent with our kids. They are small now; once they grow they will get busy in their lives. And that time it might be a role reversal. You will tell them to spend time and they will have no time.
6. Watch your tongue – Don’t ‘be surprised if your toddler copies you specially what you say, do, wear and behave. Children learn from us. We can be a good example for them. Once they start talking they repeat every word we say. Sometimes we say what we don’t mean. And if our children repeat it we feel anguish.
- It important to choose right words when you speak. Eliminate foul language completely.
- Over appreciating kids for every action of theirs can make them take things for granted.
- Do not discuss family problems in front of them. And do not share each and everything.
- Do not use words which might frighten them or leave a permanent scar on their mind. For E.g. Sometimes in anger you might say I will leave you alone or when you are upset you might say, I want to die, why me? Such phrases are only discouraging and heartbreaking. It creates a negative environment.
-Saying yes or No to everything can be a matter of concern. Contradicting your statements might also confuse the kids. It will make it difficult for them to judge situations when they grow up. They might react to everything with doubt and anxiety.
- Full time nagging, giving bribe or warnings are also misleading.
7. Keeping promises with kids- Promises are meant to be broken. Well, I don’t think so? If one cannot fulfill their promise don’t even declare it.
Children minds are very fragile. It is difficult to mend their broken minds. Lot of explanation and justification goes into convincing them.
So think, before you promise, it should not affect both of you negatively.
Breaking or keeping promises reflects one character.
It shall make our kids also accountable. It develops trust & respect between parents and kids.
Whatever we do as parents, we should forecast the future our kids will have. A good respectable, trustworthy, corporative and humble relation between a parent and child promotes an intellectual, motivational, learning & happy childhood experience. All parents are different and their approach depends on the individuality & behavior of their child. Build that connection which shall stay for life.
“Before you start nurturing your kids, first look deep within yourself and understand the parent in you.”