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Parenting is an ongoing and everlasting process. It is an exhaustive and on the job learning exercise. Everyday springs up a new surprise for parents to face it, brace it and deal with it. Parenting comes with an ultra thin line, which rightfully demarcates discpline from freedom. One loose string and kids start to take disadvantage of their parents. Modern day kids are smart enough to manipulate their parents using the emotional melodrama card to their best advantage. To counter this, modern parents should be emotionally strong to avoid swinging between logic and emotions and be able to take the right decision when they find themselves in the line of fire. Most parents however, tend to get carried away! After all, parenting puts your parental emotions to test by pushing them to the brink! I personally feel it is imperative for parents to contain themselves within the boundaries of discipline to impart worthy/right lessons to their children.
There are some parenting mistakes to be avoided at all times and costs. Sharing a few with you all:
1. Don't ever intervene when one of the you parent is talking to the child
Though it's sometimes hard to contain motherly/fatherly instincts while your spouse in is the middle of an intense or a casual conversation with the kid, that's the best alternative out. You can settle your grudges with each other soon after or save it for bed time. No matter what, never forget this rule! This saves the talking-parent a huge embarrassment, which otherwise would be doled out by your kids anytime after. Also this passes a stern message to the kids that every word said by mom/dad is important and matters as much even if they/you think otherwise.
2. Don't ever argue or pick a fight while your kids are around
Most parents do sometimes end up arguing or fighting with each other intentionally or unintentionally and care the least while teary eyed and shocked kids look on. This hurts their confidence and self esteem as much as it hurts yours. Also such situations make them lose their confidence in you. Sometimes this can backfire later with kids rebutting you with statements to discipline yourself before preaching them the so called worthy lessons of life. After all, why should kids buy your lessons that you personally fail to implement in your life? Parents should lead by example and a good one at that to leave a positive impact on the overall well being and development of their kids.
3. Never make fake promises to your kids
Yes, that's right! Either make a promise to your kids that is pretty much scalable and within your reach to fullfill or don't make one at all. Unfulfilled promises not only breake their hearts (especially young kids) but also their ability to trust you in the future. Relationships are nurtured with love and trust and faltering on even one of these ingredients can leave a long lasting and terrible impact on the psyche of your young children.
4. Stop comparing your kids with others
How does it feel when you are constantly compared with other parents, friends, colleagues or relatives? Not too good I suppose! It works the same way with kids too. Please stop comparing your kids with others. Learn to accept the goods and bads of your kids. Instead of comparing their flaws, nurture them. Help them get over their weaknesses rather than subjecting them to undue comparison and making them feel hepless. Constant comparison is a silent killer and it kills your child's esteem and confidence and in some extreme cases leaves a long lasting effect, and even if you end up regretting your msitakes later, it won't do much good!
5. Stop loving your kids' achievements & hating their failures
Unconditional love is not clause bound! As parents, you should feel happy about the efforts and sincerity that your kids put into a task no matter if the end result is a failure. You should mend your behaviour and cherish their endeavors. After all, nothing in this world comes with a promise of "Success Guaranteed." Don't let failure undermine your kids potential. Instead be good parents, rejoice their success and motivate them in their failures. Don't commit the grave mistake of ignoring your kids when they fail their efforts and your expectations.
Childhood is a bliss and lucky are those parents who get to live and savor the childhood of their children. Responsible parenting is about disciplining your own self in the process of disciplining your children.
Thank You for your patience and valuable time. Appreciate your feedback and comments!