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The new year started with not very pleasant news. Reports of harassment of girls in a metropolitan city like Bangalore had us shocked and feeling hopeless for the sorry state of affairs in our country.
Whenever I read such news about men turning into savages, I wonder what kind of families they belong to.
Do their mothers feel as hopeless as we do in front of their ghastly acts? Do they also think what went wrong with them?
Many many moons ago when I was still in my late teens, I witnessed an incident that left an indelible mark on me.
I had gone to the chemist shop near my home and there I saw my neighbors - husband,wife and their outrageously naughty eight or ten year old son.
And in shops like these that stock candies and chocolates, children exhibit their worst behavior and so was the case with his little fellow.
He yelled, cried and stomped his feet on the floor.All was going as expected till his mother who had been so far quietly bearing his tantrums raised her voice and scolded him.
In return and to everybody's horror the two feet munchkin responded with a cuss word in Hindi and asked her to SHUT UP! Much like any adult man would speak.
All eyes were on the father now as we waited for him to reprimand or at least intervene but the man indifferently carried on with his shopping.
The mother on her part with her eyes lowered behaved as if nothing had happened.
Whenever I recall this shameful incident, I can't help but wonder what might have become of this young boy now.I no more live in the same city, so I would probably never know.
It is quite possible that he now roams the very city as a teen in his flashy car or bike stalking young girls, driving rashly and getting into squabbles with one and all.
But what he did that day many years ago as a young child reveals quite a lot about how young minds are influenced and shaped.And more importantly, the role of a mother in building or destroying a potential molester.
So if you as a mother would want to raise a molester so that years from now you can read about him in newspapers and see his picture splashed all over the news channel, this is what you need to do.
Firstly make sure that your children see you as a helpless woman who has no voice of her own. Your children will see other women exactly as they see you.It is only when your children specially your son sees you as a victim that his image of women as helpless beings will get firmly implanted in his psyche.This will help him greatly when in future as a young man he will harass somebody he will be assured that his victim will not retaliate. For this you need to practice the art of being submissive, forever sorry and letting everyone walk over you.Of course this will take time--all self negating things do-but with practice you will overcome all the hurdles.
Secondly encourage him whenever he bullies someone in the school, housing society, park or any other public place, this will build his confidence in his own evilness.After all from a very young age he needs to develop a superiority complex to win the world later on.Now you may ask how to encourage him. Well, its quite simple.Whenever somebody complains about his behavior reprimand him in front of them but later on in the privacy of your home laugh off the entire matter with him and tell him what else he can do next.This will also prove to him that what a fabulous sense of humor you have as you find whatever he does, funny!
Later on when you get tired of hearing the same complaints over and again, simply ignore them.You deserve some change too.Hopefully the young ward will understand this and use his creativity to do something different and beat his own past records.The mom and son can now once again laugh uproariously in the cocoons of their homes.
Now if you also happen to have a daughter, this next trick is specially for you.As soon as the little buds begin to understand how the world works, introduce to them this very sophisticated technique called the DIFFERENTIAL TREATMENT.
Give everything that your son demands and deny everything that your daughter wants.Be very careful of using your language correctly when speaking to both of them.While addressing your son use the choicest of words that spill with your love and adoration for him.You are required to do nothing of this sort for your daughter.Have different set of rules for both of them for everything as little things as food and clothes. In fact have all the rules for your daughter and none for your son. In case at any point you are met with resistance from your daughter just tell her that being a boy is a privilege that she lost at her birth.
When your son will witness this contrast at home he will easily learn that boys and girls are inherently different and therefore need to be treated differently. .As a grown up man, he will skilfully practice this valuable teaching and in fact as an intelligent parrot will be able to recite what a girl should and should not do, at a drop of a hat.Something you will surely be proud of!
Eventually after years of practicing these simple steps you will have a highly skilled molester at hand- the one who will rule the streets at night and dictate a code of conduct for his fellow beings.
And you yourself would have become a splitting image of that woman I met in the chemist shop-eyes lowered and lips sealed.