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"Saree mein achi lag rahi ho" my husband said, as he flipped through Facebook posts.
"Who said?" I enquired.
"Areey I am saying" he exclaimed.
The compliment had caught me by surprise.
You see after four years of marriage and a BABY who claimed most of our waking hours, verbal compliments had become almost a rarity. Our busy schedules and a never ending to-do list, somehow put the couple in us in the background.
And when my husband complimented me that day, I thought he was conveying someone's message!
That got me thinking that what is it that we women want out of any relationship that is important to us. There have been movies made and books written to decode what women want but it is actually quite simple to decipher. After that incident I realized that what women really want are the three A's in their lives.
The first A is ACKNOWLEDGMENT.You know how annoying that feeling is, when you do something right and nobody seems to notice but the one time you don't, the entire world seems to crash upon you.So its like, you cook everyday or keep the house tidy or pay the bills and life will continue as usual, but god forbid if you miss out even once, the world will come to a screeching halt and all eyes will scan you from top to bottom!
I don't understand that if people can notice what you didn't do then why is it so hard for them to acknowledge what you did?
The simple job of acknowledging is enough to keep women happy and motivated.It is only when the housekeeping or other roles are taken for granted that problems begin to simmer until they explode as emotional outburst one fine day.
The second important A is appreciation.
Most women spend their entire lives seeking appreciation.Appreciation for what they do for their families and how they make a house into a home.But alas! sometimes the appreciation does not come at all or comes too late, when the woman has become indifferent or the relationships have turned soured.
What does it take to speak a few words of encouragement or to appreciate a talent? Almost nothing.
When I spoke to someone on this topic, that why women are not appreciated enough, the reply almost stunned me.
"Wo phir sar par chad jayengi" said the wise man.
Is this why a woman wont be appreciated, in the fear that she may lose her senses and become egoistic. The man who said that, was highly mistaken, for he does not know that women know how to take a compliment gracefully.
Appreciating a woman is like watering a flower. The flower responds to the care it gets much like women when they are apprecaited.If the grass on your side is not green, then probably it is you who are to be blamed. This is for those men, who happily appreciate other women, while turning a blind eye towards their own. Only to complain later that how lifeless or ordinary their wives or girlfriends are!
I often wonder that why do women become so bitter and ruthless when they become mother-in- laws.The answer is quite simple. They have perhaps spent a life devoid of any acknowledgement or appreciation and then a new person enters the family whom she sees as a threat. So now she must share the little appreciation that comes her way.No wonder most MIL's see their DIL's as a competition! Which is utterly sad.
The last A is like the icing on the cake or the tiara on the head of woman who is treated like a princess.
It is admiration!
When my husband admired me that day, I felt young and beautiful.I realized that he still noticed the way I looked even if we don't get much time to exchange compliments on a daily basis.
In the middle of a busy day, when a woman has lost herself to the tasks at hand and forgotten that before anything else she is a person in her own right, a word of admiration connects her to herself.It lets her touch the essence of her soul.
So if a woman gets these three A's in her relationships, she won't turn arrogant as that man had pointed but in fact she would give more of herself .Women are like that, you know. And it is that easy to keep her blissfully happy!