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Since the minute my daughter was born till I started to post pictures of her and me dressed similarly not one person said we looked alike. From the nurse, to the OB, to my inlaws, to my parents, siblings, friends, neighbors every single person said Zayb looks like her father. OK so, a child looks like either or both the parents. In our case that parent is Sameer. So why does it affect me soo much.. I don't know.. but it did.
Subconsciously I started dressing Zayb in similar outfits to mine. It made me feel like my daughter resembles me in some way. Today I have a series of photos of us dressed similarly.
But just recently I found myself introspecting whether I would take the dressing up similarly to the next level and impose my thoughts, my personality, my ambitions on her. And I realised that honestly I do have the potential of doing that. The acceptance of this fact was an eye opener.
I found myself questioning 'what is so great about me that I'm obsessing over creating a miniature version of me? I'm no Cleopatra or Margaret Thatcher or Mother Teresa. Perhaps Zayb has the potential of being a great leader, a super star celebrity, a renowned feminist, an acclaimed author (non of which I am). Perhaps she will be a better person spiritually and socially than me. And may be I'm snatching away her chances of being all these while I carve her childhood, her personality by sitting in front of the mirror.
So next time I hear myself asking her " does mama throw her stuff or is mama rude to anyone?" I'll change my approach and reason with her rather than encouraging her to emulate behaviour that I consider good. Because this will lead her to get into the habit of emulating me always. So even when I do things that aren't right she will easily pick these up from me as well.
I'll do my best to be the best me that I can be and that's what I want her to learn from me, which is to be the best that she can be and not the best mini me.
Meanwhile we will continue our matching outfits obsession but I'm glad I'll not be taking it further than that.
I get a lot of mothers asking me where and how I get matching outfits. I just keep my eyes open. I don't always buy our outfits together. I pick individual pieces that I like and pair them up. Sometimes I have a dress and then I see a similar print in one of the kids store and I pick it up. It just happens. So study your and your child's wardrobe and keep an eye open for similar pieces when you go out shopping.