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Parenting is a term that is used to encompass the mother as well as the father - the parents. And there is reason as to why this is so. A child is born to a mother and a father and develops into a physically, socially, mentally and spiritually strong human being with all the necessary facilities to live life in its whole form.
A mother naturally passes on certain aspects that shape the child and the father also does his own bit. But as far as parenting is concerned, a woman seems to be naturally hard-wired to be a mother. A few trials and errors are certainly permissible but by far, mothering seems to be far more instinctive than fathering will ever be. A father, on the other hand, needs to cultivate the art of parenting despite the fact that his love and sense of protection for the kids is just as natural and powerful as that of the mom.
Right from the word go, both mom and dad play a pivotal role, but often the role of parenting becomes a little lopsided, with the majority of it falling on the shoulders of the mom. Of course, there is no denying the fact that it is the mother who is the 24/7, 365 days of the year caregiver, with the dad donning the hat of the provider. But a happy and healthy baby needs both parents, not just one parent. In fact, doctors across the world believe and reinforce that for a child to develop cognitively and socially, both the parents should be actively involved. After all, the primary form of learning is through imitation and the child watches, observes, imitates, learns, and develops. And for this to happen the time spent with the child is the essence.
As a mother, albeit a working one (luckily a work from home job), I naturally spend a lot of time with my kids but my husband has only a few time slots available – early morning before the school, office rush starts, late evening after work and the weekends. Naturally, the onus is on him to utilize that time to the maximum possible and get a few precious hours with the girls. And I must say that he does that with ease. Even though he spends perhaps a few hours in total with them every week, he is the one who spends this time qualitatively, while more often than not, the time I spend with the kids is primarily for routine and mundane tasks such as meals, school work, classes, etc.
Yesterday, I came across this very cute video by pampers displaying the exact same situation of my house.
I must admit though that these routine tasks are not something he often participates in – diapering, potty training, bath times, meal times - well, they have always been mostly on my plate even though he does try. I agree that these tasks do not come naturally to him, he has had to put in an effort, but what is more important is the fact that he is far better than I am at spending good quality time with the girls. The rush of adrenaline after a good romp in the park, the impromptu game of football or cycling, the rough games of pillow fights and tickle-me-silly, or even something as mundane as a board game at times – these are things he excels at and that is his forte. These are the activities that are teaching my girls to be physically active and mentally strong.
I may be one of the 88% of Indian women who complain that diapering did not come naturally to my husband but then he is playing his crucial role in their upbringing isn’t he? #ItTakes2 and #Pampers