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Gone are the days, when the son- in- law was treated equivalently to God! The entire family used to be folding hands in the hospitality and would fulfil his desire before he would even utter a word! Taking care of even his small need from satisfying his taste buds, to preparing the delicacies to buy expensive gifts, at times giving fat cash envelope as a token of love, everything was taken care of. An obnoxious, domineering, and overbearing Jawai raja should not feel bad and do not carry any ill feelings was the mindset, but despite all the VIP treatment his behaviour would continue to rankle. The parents of the girls had to absorb the tantrums thrown by him and bear the consequences of his tormentation. "Beti ko jo Janam Diya".Irrespective of all the ill treatment given to their daughter and many times of being ridiculed they would persue this relationship with fear in mind" What if she gets divorced!".Very much like the Gabbar Singh of the Bollywood movie; holding the hunter in one hand, speaking the foul language, and torturing plans in head!. A never ending suffering!The saga changed with the time. The Gabbar Singh of old times learnt to be more manipulative with his dialogues than being upfront.He is smart enough to conceal his deep-rooted male chauvinism behind the surface because he knows the woman of this era is not less than phoolan devi; who can use her weapons of empowerment, feminism, and liberation to crush his false ego in nanoseconds.
So here he is versatile, dynamic with his words!
Today's son in laws are smart, they still win in the barter! Getting married to an educated girl, who earns well and manages the entire household chores.Maintains work- life balance, lifestyle and is at par with the world.The men of today's era actually do not want to play a victim either and most of them are smart enough to blame everything on their wives. "Mum actually my wife is the one who doesn't want to stay in the joint family.( but actually, they want the best of both the worlds.) They know how to keep everyone happy and do not want their own happiness to be intruded!
"Sweetheart you can call your parents to take care of the babies.Let them be comfortable staying in the apartment next to us." (ha ha ha..win-win situation!)
"Mum, she wants her parents to be there.So let it be! You know she is very adamant at times and you are one who understands my plight!"( What a marketing skill! Clever guys! huh! wife ke kandhe pe bandook) Criticising own wife and boasting mom's ego-they know how to handle the situation but actually, they are a Gossip monger!)
This way the wife, boy's own parents and girl's parents all are happy.(Divide and rule!-Selfish guys they want to attain peace and play a role of a secret disturbing element by playing innocent and speaking their patent dialogue- ab mene kya kia?)
"I am damn tired of the babies and wife's nagging attitude let me plan a business tour"(Enjoying too much of me time, huh!)
Though there is a change in the mindset of our Indian community but still a revolution for eliminating double standards is required!We all need breathing space and to grow in our relationship!Woman are stronger, they take the brunt, bear the consequences and play front foot.Whereas the men always remained ignorant, innocent and would continue to be. In our Indian society where the male chauvinism is outrageously rampant, they would continue to get the best treatment("Beta to beta hi rahega") and this world will never understand the value of a woman and would keep blaming her. Do you agree on this ladies?What's your take on it?
Ps."When a man is sold it is called Dowry."Check out this interesting blog post "INTERNALISED MISOGYNY!" by Nishtha Dhand https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/is-there-a-lot-of-charismatic-air-around-you/article/internalised-misogyny