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“Can I play?” , Manan asked his mother“NO”, mother answered“Can I have some chocolates?”, asked Manan“NO” was the answer again.Manan kept asking his mum, seeking her permission on different issues, but every time her answer was “NO” and finally when she made a big announcement “NO means NO”. It deeply impacted him that he developed certain apprehensions in his mind. “What if I ask my mum for anything?’’This two letter word was echoing in the ears of this little five-year-old boy. He could not concentrate and was cranky throughout the day.’ It was castigating him consistently and descending him towards the worst. Though mother was right on her part, she wanted to teach him, every wish cannot be fulfilled and everything her little child is demanding cannot be done, but her way of handling the situation and expressions was dragging him down towards behavioural problems. Hence hyperactivity disorders, attention seeking syndrome started surfacing. At times the child would get up amidst night and yell “MOM PLEASE….”. He started bed wetting too.Teachers started complaining and the poor mother was not able to appraise the reason behind the problem. The deteriorating confidence level was nothing less than a virtual thrashing.The sulking face of the child was depicting the story. Studies were going for a toss! Finally, she decided to seek the help of a counsellor.The interrogation part began-1. Who are all there in your family?2. How much Quality time do you give to your child?3. How many siblings does he have?4. Who teaches him……….After a long discussion, the counsellor cogitated and ruled out the problem. Despite the fact that Mother was academically sound, giving her best to the child, providing the adequate diet, quality, time and attention the reason behind the child’s downfall was “Negative Upbringing”.The repercussions of this two lettered word “NO” were quite impactful!
So now the question arises how to deal with this situation.1 .Let’s replace the word ‘NO’ with different options.eg. If the child wants anything to be done, which we as mothers think is not apt for the moment-We can divert child’s attention or we can always give him logical thinking that what will happen if he does it.2. Logical thinking and reasoning- We should be tricky enough to handle the situation just to avoid future apprehensions.3. Providing options/ substitutes: - Initiating the sentence with a positive remark will make things happen as desired. Eg. I feel Manan… if we do it this way!4. Involvement- Boost up your child's morale by taking his advice. Later, if you feel it's not practical, you can make the situation accordingly.5. Do not ridicule your child in front of others- Talk to him by taking him aside, and refrain him from giving logic to stop doing certain activities.Always Believe in your child! I hope this article helps. Please share your views.
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