The first time I saw her, my life transformed, I wept saying I will protect you and love you with my life. I will never let anyone hurt you ever. These were the promises I made when I held those tiny palms in mine. A tear glistened from the corner of my eye, while she continued looking at me, I am sure she understood the feelings if not the words.
We came home on the third day, post a C section, I had stitches pain to fight. Sitting on the bed or even moving around seemed a challenge. But her face meant the world. Then the challenges began, our struggle started with latching, I could never master the football hold, then Ma came and taught me the traditional hold which seemed slightly better. But that was not the end to struggles, it was beginning.
Then the crying began at nights. Every night a 10pm sharp she would start wailing. With no idea of what was happening to her, I sought help from Google, why do babies cry. Ohhh dear, Google came up with thousands of answers and some as bizarre as they are bored. I tried all tricks with her, I cuddled her, snuggled her, fed her, burped her, changed her diapers, gave her a massage, but nothing seemed to help, her high pitch crying woke up everyone around. Finally I gave up and handed her over to my husband. I have no idea what worked but by then it was 5am and she stopped crying, may be the change of hands helped.
The next night the crying was worse, by this time I was convinced that we need to visit the doctor. We rushed to the emergency, my face pale while my husband had a grim face. The doctor examined her and declared, it is a case of colic pain. I had dreaded the word colic pain, because I had heard dreading stories of colic pain. My face turned ashen, now what, I asked the doctor, what could be done. The doctor looked at me saying nothing, it will go on its own. This statement was the scariest of all. No idea on how long it would stay was the worst thing to happen. We came home, feeling sad for ourselves and our little one.
From thereon, every night she would start wailing sharp at 10pm and cry till 5am. At times it stretched beyond 5am and at times it would stop by 3am. Days it stopped early we would waste no time and catch up on our sleep and days it would extend beyond 5am, we would be cranky the whole day. We have gone on night drives because she stopped crying in the car. We were willing to do anything to help her stop crying. We tried white noise, but rather than helping her sleep, it made us drowsy.
Colic was the toughest and most difficult phase. But guess what was the beauty of colic, one night her crying didn’t start at 10pm. Husband and I thought maybe it would start a later in the night. Without wasting any time both of us retired to bed, we had been sleep deprived for months. We slept off and slept peacefully after months. It was the early morning rooster that woke us up. I woke up to the rising sun, and saw my little one sleeping peacefully. The first night we had all slept peacefully after months.
The next few nights we dreaded the return of colic, but it never came back and had gone for good.