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15 months of motherhood has taught me more than 32 years of life. .. The struggles of life actually start with marriage.we Trying to adjust in completely new atmosphere. . But hoping to cope with the challenges and come out winner .. struggles never end and so does the hope.
Those two red lines are the best thing that can happen to someone post marriage.... I lost my first baby in a miscarriage. Went for an ultrasound to hear the heart beat of my baby in 6 week when got the shock that heart beat was absent... Couldn't believe as I had all symptoms of pregnancy... It was a "missed abortion". That's how life changes in fraction of a second. All dreams shattered.. There wasn't any problem in either of us. After one year conceived again.. But more than excitement there lied fear stress.. But everything went well by God's grace and a baby boy came in our life to brighten my life.
There started roller coaster ride. Life had changed so drastically that I was unable to understand what was happening. All of a sudden so much social pressure. the first time I thought I am not a good mother. Am unable to feed my baby. People around you will only increase your guilt. . Felt like I had done such a big mistake. .. But what did I do? And those 4 days were the toughest time in my life.. More than being happy that I delivered a baby I was tensed that milk is not coming... Fifth day when milk came I never felt that relieved. But what was my mistake?? I still don't know.
So many restrictions suddenly are capped on us.. Like we are prisoners.. I think the reason for post partum depression is the way life changes all of a sudden. 15 days were like fifteen years...
But every struggle was and is worth if it's result is your baby. Being a stay at home mother from a working woman, it's not easy to accept changes. Every day I struggle and every night when I see my ds sleeping, I hope for well being of family and revive my hopes..