Diary of a witty mom
|   Jun 08, 2016
Diary of a witty mom

       As a new mom, I had to maintain a diary about my twin boys' feeds and needs. In a zombie state, it was very difficult to remember who had been fed and who had peed/pooped. I did it for a few weeks till I got used to the routine. Then I thought I could do away with the diary. But .. No, I was wrong. I am back to the diary again after they have grown into boys ...a mental diary this time.

      By now, my sons have learnt to share most of the tangible things - chocolate, toys, books etc . They know everything in the world doesn't come in pairs. But what about certain experiences which can't be shared ? That is when there is fierce competition for the silliest of things. And my diary comes handy because its a diary of who did what last and when.

Example 1 : 

Me : Twin 1, please call dad and ask him to get mangoes on his way back.

Twin 2 : EVERY TIME Twin 1 gets a chance to call. I never get one.

Me : Chance ??

Nope, they don't get complimentary game time on the mobile after the call yet there is a fight ..... Anyway that's when I flip through the pages of my mental diary and settle the dispute using the Duckworth-Lewis method (loads of calculation with absolutely no logic).

Example 2 :

Me : Twin 2, make a call (on the intercom) to grandma and inform her about the milkman.

Twin 1 : ALWAYS Twin 2 gets a chance. I never get mine.

Me : Again chance ?? Dialling on an intercom a missed chance ?

My hubby (to me) : I think they are fond of the telephone. They have taken after you (Electronics and Communication engineer).

I brush aside his comment because its beyond my understanding as I need to make at least 5 such calls in a day.

Example 3 :

Me : Twin 1, go and return Priya aunty's (my next door neighbour) books. She needs it urgently. 

Twin 2 : How did Twin 1 get his turn again ?

Me : But you were in the bathroom.

Twin 2 : Priya aunty would have waited. I LOST my chance.

Me (to Alexander Graham Bell) : Sorry Sir, your invention wasn't the object of obsession but I think its your name .. May be they like to ring the door bell.

In the meantime, Twin 2 is busy digging into a few things and succeeds in finding Priya aunty's CDs.

Twin 2 : Ok. I'll return these CDs to Priya aunty.

Me : But you haven't watched 'Jungle Book' movie yet.

Twin 2 : That's ok, we'll borrow it again. I have got to return this now. Its MY turn to go.

I am already making an entry into my diary about whose turn it is next to return the CDs when I borrow it again :)

Example 4 :

Me : Twin 2, just tell the watchman through the window to send the courier boy to our house.

Twin 1 : It was MY turn this time. Twin 2 gets this chance always.

Me : Chance ??? Not again please ...

Now its my turn to get pull my hubby's (Human Resource professional) legs.

Me (to my hubby) : So its not the telephone or the bell they are interested in. They are interested in "interacting with people". I guess they have taken after you.

Example 5 :

Me : Twin 1, please put the eye drops in grandma's eyes.

Twin 2 : It was MY turn now. Last time Twin 1 put 2 drops when he was supposed to put only 1 drop. So I get 2 turns consecutively.

Me : How could I lose track of that extra drop !!!!

Example 6 :

Me : Twin 2, please get my dongle from the bedroom.

Twin 1 : It was MY turn this time. Last time, I dropped it while bringing and so you came running inside. My chance got cancelled when you took it from me in the bedroom itself.  

Me : Oh !! yes . I was busy fixing the dongle and forgot to make the diary entry. 

Conclusion : Its not the mobile phone, not the telephone, not the door bell , not people .... It is just twin mentality - settling scores at all times.

Lesson # 342576 learnt in twin parenting - Never ever lose your diary.

P.S - My hubby read this before I posted and said "You are crazy. You have ensured that you have given equal examples (above) to both the twins".  Oh yeah !!!  twins can drive their mom nuts :)       

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