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Sometimes there's a sudden urge to pen down your feelings. Like how I am feeling tonight.
Today there was a small tiff between my husband and me. But this had made the air so thick and heavy at home that you could cut it with a knife. The cold war was spreading too much negativity around my home! In such situations, I tend to run to the expert "The Me". "What is more important to me right now? Is it to prove my point right means the ultimate to me, or is it the person standing in front of me?" I ask. I get an honest reply.... Yes, it's not very easy to convince myself every time that it was I who greased the wheels for him being indignant towards me. I hold back those tears as I look at him frantically to be hugged. I feel betrayed, when he disregards to come back and talk. But when I know that he too loves me and treasures this relationship more than anything else, then I should acquiesce to it!
Now, what if I wrangled? Our lives would still go forth. He would still get ready to office and leave at the same time. The kids would still be dropped off by him at school. I would still abide by my routine.There would still be all of us at the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But.... would it be the same? I would miss hugging him while he leaves to office. The children would miss their dad's pep talk while he drops them off at school. He wouldn't be his productive self at office.There would only be deafening silence at the table, no laughter and no fun! All these at the cost of what? I mean, is it worth it? Understanding what's cardinal and to act accordingly is what it takes. I call it focusing on the BIGGER PICTURE in life! So I went up to him and said "sorry!" and THAT resolved the issue. Of course, I am no angel, and i wouldn't forsake the issue at just that. I would tarry till it gets completely ice cold and then give my piece of mind to him. But that, happens back stage! I don't want my kids to be a party to our cat fights. For now, I let the issue rest in peace!
I wonder why saying a sorry is considered a sheepish act? Well, I see that somebody who can say the magical word with no canniness as a very strong person. A person who is clear about his priorities in life, a person who adores his relationship more than his ego! Trust me, it takes a lot of guts to apologize for the mistake you didn't do! When our ego takes a back seat, we can contrive to a lot of enjoyable and memorable moments in life. Life is a compilation of many such lovely moments. It is these moments which we flash on and that brings a smile on our old wrinkled face tomorrow. And that's why I feel... "It's better to say a sorry than be sorry!!" - food for thought!