Our children are not our property.
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|   May 26, 2016
Our children are not our property.


Your children could be your possessions but not your property - Wow! Now that’s the line that could actually suffice the entire blog I am about to write. Our children are not our property. How difficult it is to actually understand this! They came on earth through us but not for us. They are not here to become what we couldn't be or achieve what we failed at.They are not here to live our dreams.They are not here to live the life we wished to have.They are not here to be everything that we were not. They are here as fiercely independent individual, the original versions of themselves not as an extention, substitution or replica of their proginators. As a mother I confess, I dream big for my daughter, I hope for her glorious future, I want her to be way ahead than me in every sphere of life she treads, I want her to be better than anything her mother ever was and ever hopes to be in life.But but but most importantly I want her to be herself,happy and proud of her own identity, walking on her own road, choosing her own things, enjoying the life and its simple flavours, smiling, relaxing, cherishing things that comes her way, making friends, exploring wonders and not rushing any anywhere. She is not suppose to come first and be the best, I will be glad if she does, but she is certainly not bound to oblige me. She is born to me - she is born as a human and I want her to retain that quality..there is no need for her to run in a rat race nor do I wish to breed her like a stud. Sometimes I find few people accusing me of being ‘too casual’ or ‘laid back’ but this is how I am. I am not here to impress the world around me, and I am not here to raise my daughter as per their defined standards. When my baby was young I often heard young mothers with the same aged babies worrying about when will their baby start teething, when will they start sitting, when will they start crawling, when will they start nibbing, when will they start talking, when will they start walking and so on and I used to be like the chillest one in the lot.I never really cared that the X’s baby started walking at eleven months and the Y’s at ten, mine walked after her first birthday and when she did it was beautiful! Similarly I never bothered to forcefully stop her breastfeed because other kids leave it by so and so time or cared that she didn't speak so many words as my friend’s son did at her age nor did I ever tell her not to play in water or mud because it was unhygenic.I turned deaf ear to the people who condemned me not to potty train her till she was about three while other kids were smart enough to tell their mommies when they wanted to poop much before than that. I also never bothered much about what colours she identifies, which shapes she recognises,which poems she says, which stories she narrates, I just occupy myself as much I can with her and when she went to school, she already knew it all,better than the little ones who were cracked by their mothers to learn. For that matter,even about school.I got her admitted to a preschool a month after she turned three and I can't tell you how frowned upon I was till then, people around me, young parents,relatives and friends would look at me awestruck when I would tell them earlier that she doesn't go to any school.She was just three and they would react as if I am refraining her from academics till her teenage or something. This was a thoughtful decision I took when she was born. I didn't give birth to my baby for someone else to take care of her. There was no need for her to go to a daycare or creche or prep aged merely two, but man how the jaws actually dropped open would often compel me to wonder if that’s really such a big deal. One more very strange thing about selection of school was,eight out of ten I went to find out tried to get me by asserting that - ours is the most suitable one for your child,as we only allow communication in English, which is, you know how important these days! And I would shrug and say that any language is only the medium of expression and at her age I am more concerned about the content she learns, and they would look at me perplexed Now, that’s another new age funda, although today my daughter talks about everything under the sun and comprehends the language reasonably well,she doesn't speak it apart from many words she knows, no formation of sentences I mean and again I am very cool about it, I am not among those Psuedo English parents who babble on with their kids in foolish accent because it will make a good impression on others.I fail to understand the fixation.I mean who cares,after all! I have not been speaking English since her age and yet today I bet that my level of proficiency in the language is better than most people I know around me. So, what’s the big deal! It is just the language to express like all the others and does not define the standard of life. But what to do, our competitive generation is just too stuck. Poor rich things! I don't know what’s wrong, why can't these hurried souls understand, that everything happens at the right time at its own right pace, there is no point in battling through life. Your kids will learn and evolve and grow and develop - give them their space, give them the environment, give them the liberty to be themselves..and they will be everything they are sent here to be. Patience and freedom are the keywords in parenting,but...anyway,coming back to my baby, now that she is in nursery, they ask me when I plan to put her in formal school or what hobby classes is she pursuing in summers because extra curricular is so important these days with studies and I am like ho ho ho give me a break! She is three.She is at home. She is doing nothing. She is just Chilling through her break.And again the jaws drop...

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