Talking about gender difference to a 3 year old
|   Jul 11, 2017
Talking about gender difference to a 3 year old

Kids are magical thinkers


Abhilasha had visited her maika for her sister Radha’s delivery.  All within the family were very happy for the new arrival of little angel “Avani”.  Abhilasha’s son Daksh (3-1/2-year-old) was very curious to see his little sister that Radha masi had gifted him.  He only heard of tales of how God had planted a gift for him in Radha masi’s tummy and he had waited until his next vacation to receive the gift.  It was time for the mother and baby to return home from the hospital.  Pruthvi (Radha’s husband) also visited Radha’s maika to help decorating the house for new arrival.  Daksh trying to help mumma pick pink and white balloons.  Decoration was all set, all well dressed, Daksh waiting with a big balloon to blast at the entrance while the Radha and Avani stepped down the car.  Nani rushed with aarati and stopped Daksh from blasting the balloon stating “Sonu, Avani will get scared with this noise”.  Daksh already feeling that nobody cared for him and all were only happy for Avani while he was also happy for his gift but was annoyed as nobody was letting him touch or handle his gift.  Nani pulled the balloon from Daksh’s hand and handed it to Pruthvi .  There was a warm welcome for Radha masi and avani and they were led to beautifully decorated bed where Daksh was already making his space.  Suddenly Abhilasha rushed in and pulled Daksh out of the bed and informed him it was for Avani and masi and Daksh was not suppose to get on the bed as that would be unhygienic for the baby.  Daksh now in insecurity walked back to Pruthvi uncle who had his balloon.  Pruthvi slightly sensing the insecurity carried Daksh to the balcony and blasted the balloon for him.  Daksh laughed and jumped in the balcony when he heard his mom cry out for Pruthvi for snacks and tea.


Daksh now understood that the Avani and Radha masi were special these days as they both just lay on the bed the whole day, there were guests to visit them who carried lots of sweets and ladoos for masi and new clothes for Avani where as Daksh was not even asked for.  Daksh often looked at himself into mirror and thought, “I am so smiling, so lively, so happy yet nobody gets gifts for me whereas Avani is so cranky yet everyone is buying gifts for her”.  One day while Radha was having her lunch, Avani started crying.  Daksh was around so he decided to check out.  Radha cried out, “Daksh could you please go to Avani and clap hands and make sounds for her to laugh?  I am just done”. Daksh very happy to be a big B.  He tried to mimicry but Avani did not stop crying.  Daksh noticed that Avani’s nappy was wet.  He called out to Radha, “Masi Avani has done susu”.  Radha quickly wound up her lunch and got up to wash her hand.  Meanwhile Daksh decided to try to change Avani’s nappy.  He had just pulled the nappy down as pants, when suddenly Abhilasha rushed and pulled Daksh back.  “Daksh I told you not to go close to the baby, what did you do to her?”  Radha masi came in quickly.  “Its okay didi, I asked Daksh to entertain Avani.”  While Daksh was puzzled and thinking, Abhilasha dragged him to dining table to grab lunch.


Later that evening Daksh sat on Radha’s bed and kept staring at Avani.  Radha asked, “whats it Daksh? You want something?  Take that dinkache ladoo (edible gum ladoo) and have one.  Uma Ajji brought them, they are very tasty.”  Daksh grabbed one and walked out.  Radha noticed that Daksh wasn’t himself since morning and related this to sibling jealousy.


Radha did inform Abhilasha about this change, “Didi-Daksh is feeling left out.  I think you should consider taking him to park tomorrow.  Abhilasha: “hmm .. will try to.  There is so much work pending.  We are expecting your in laws this week.”  Radha:  “Didi leave everything and give him an hour.  He does not seem to be happy.”  Abhilasha arranged for a park visit for Daksh.  Daksh now back from play.  Radha: “Did you enjoy Daksh?  What did you play there?”  Daksh: “Yes masi.  It was fun.  I ate sweet corn with cheese.” Radha : “Wow! And you did not get anything for Avani ?”  Daksh:  “I asked mumma but she said Avani is too small and I should dare not put anything in her mouth”.  Radha:  “So sweet of you Daksh you thought about your sister.  No worries, when she will grow up and have teeth, you can feed her with food of your choice.”  Daksh looked at Avani with a question mark on his face and said, “Okay masi” and ran inside.  Radha laughed and was happy that Daksh was now getting comfortable with Avani.


Next day again while Radha was having her lunch, Avani woke up crying.  Radha cried out for Daksh, “Dakshu please check why Avani is crying and try to act like Sherkhan for her.” Daksh rushed.  Abhilasha:  “Don’t touch her please.  Masi is coming.”  Daksh:  “Masi, baby did susu.”.. Radha: “Oh okay Daksh I am coming beta.”  Daksh waited until masi was there and stopped there staring at Avani.  Radha changed her nappy.  She noticed that again Daksh had a very puzzled look.  She grabbed him close and asked him “Dakshu baby what happened?  Are you unhappy that your sister did susu  or its that she cried made you unhappy?”  Daksh hesitant.  Radha: “come on Daksh you can share your secrets with masi.”  Daksh opened up, “Masi, have you noticed Avani does not have munnu (private part).”  Radha: “what?? and was this your worry?”  Daksh: Yes !!!!  Radha hugged him, “Oh my baby, you think so much about your little sis” while back of her mind thinking “how do I explain to him?”  She took a deep breath and started “Dakshu, God makes two types of babies.  One is boy and the other girl.  Just like we have two types of chocolates, dark chocolates and white chocolate.  Both these babies will grow up differently.  A boy, i.e. you will grow up like baba and a girl like Avani will grow up like mumma.  You will have mustache/beared and Avani will have long hair and will wear bindi .  Similarly God has created two different types of munnu (private parts) for girls and boys.  She has but not like the one you have.” Daksh now convinced and smiled.  Radha added, “boys are usually good with physical strength and girls are emotionally strong.  So you should make sure that you are not pushing or pulling her since she will be hurt and that is the reason why everybody were asking you stay away from her.”  Radha:  “Now dear big B will you please pass me that glass of water.?”  Daksh:  “Sure masi.”  Abhilasha cries out for Daksh to eat his lunch.  Radha smiles sarcastically unsure if she had rightly resolved the query of this tiny tot.  Later that evening while Daksh was out to play, Radha discussed this with Abhilasha and her mom and all laughed as to how inquisitive these young minds are and it is so difficult to answer them.


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