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What is home? We all have different definitions for it. For a nomad, whole world is their home. For a kid where ever their parents are is their home. For men with full supremacy they call their parents home as theirs. Now coming back to us women... Before marriage I have stayed with my parents throughout my schooling and graduation, fondly and proudly I called it my home. After I got married, its astonishing how people you have known your whole life, come to meet you now with an all different perspective, the way they talk now is so different because now I belong to a different family, my home is now different.
And why is after marriage my parents home no more my home? Yes I am married, I am a part of a whole new family, I have utmost respect for my husband and his parents and I am willingly wanting to get accustomed to new family, their customs, rituals and adjust and give my best, but that in no way makes me forsake my parents home(my home). I do not stay with my in-laws, I stay with my husband and kid in a nuclear family but I have stayed a long time with my parents, and never been any more comfortable at any other place. The freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want is something I had at my home and I will always have. I don't have to adjust, there are no rules, there are no expectations, there are no demands and its my free world.
One fine day I get married and all of sudden things are suppose to change, why? The tradition of women leaving their home and going to their husbands home is very old and at one time it was believed that men are the bread earners and women are care givers and need security and men act as their protectors. But in today's cosmopolitan world, things have changed. People prefer nuclear family, both the partners earn and equally support each other and surviving the competition and maintaining financial stability is evenly shared between the couple. The disposition of post marriage, a girls parents home is no longer her home, is a dilapidated notion and should positively change. We reside in a modern world, and talk about equality, so by means of equality as much as sons are responsible for their parents, daughters should also be responsible for their parents.
Even today when my in-laws visit me or I visit them, there are certain things I am suppose to do in a particular way, no one forces me to do them, but somewhere there are expectations and at the end of the day we are daughter-in-laws and we have things to do and follow as the family wants, and we do that as we are now a part of the family. I am not complaining at all, just something we all women go through. How the role reverses at in-laws place is something we all women can relate to. Despite having the best of parents-in-laws, there are always limits, if not from their side, its somehow just built in us, the way we dress, we talk, we walk, from getting up early, to catering needs of all to putting up our best of behaviour is something we just tend to do.
Being married, I don't get to visit my parents very often, but, when I am at my parents home, I never have to think about anything, I am just myself, freedom to get up late, to meet my friends, to wear whatever I want, to laugh loudly, to talk loudly, and the pampering I receive is inexpressible, from my favorite food being cooked and served to endless shopping to heart felt care is something that will always be there from their end, and the independence to be just me, will always be at my parents place or to promptly say 'My Home.' My parents, are my very first teachers in this world, who taught me right and wrong, who made me independent, who supported me and my goals and till date stand by me for everything. The place where I spent my best days and the memories that I will carry life-long, that's my home and that shall always be my home.
I am happily married, blessed with a great family, and fortunately I have a supportive and a wonderful husband who has never differentiated between his family and mine, and always given me total freedom to go to my home, & to stay as long as I want. I take utmost pleasure in saying 'My parents home, will always be my home', till my last breath. As much as I consider my in-laws place my home, I equally belong and will always be an inseparable part of my home. Marriage does bring upon us a lot of responsibilities, a major role playing, a wife, a daughter-inlaw, a mother, a home maker, a working women but all this doesn't change us from being a daughter, the most cherished role and to be at my parents home and relive all good old days and just forget for sometime all the other roles and responsibilities and just be a daughter and get all the attention is something I would like to keep getting as long as possible.
“A dream is a seed.
Vision plants it.
Imagination nurtures growth.
Opportunities create blooms.
Thoughts become things!” ― Donna McGof
What's right and whats wrong is everyone's perception, but at the end, its ultimately our choice and an understanding between partners, to respect each others thinking and give each other freedom to do what they want. The society is changing, and with men and women both attaining high education and working well, the system of men and their family being considered superior has to stop. Respect, traditions, customs are at its place but we all are equal and as much as a man is responsible for his parents, a woman also has full freedom to look after her parents and visit them and proudly say, "It will always be my home."