When Bad is Good
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|   Apr 21, 2017
When Bad is Good

9th April, Sunday. 11:30 am.

Amritsar, Punjab

Dear Baba, 

I tried my best to make you understand. When I failed I tried my hardest to compromise. You and Maa mean world to me but badminton is my soul, my essence. You are right, I might never find a nicer and better settled guy like Amit but today if I choose Amit and your happiness over badminton I will lose myself forever. Sakshi will never be the same.. I hope one day you will understand and forgive me. I am leaving for sports academy. Love to Maa.

Sakshi.

Kolkata, West Bengal.

Anindita is dressed in a crisp white shirt and a navy business suit. A little nervous from inside but she knows she is doing the right thing. Her colleagues advised her otherwise. Her husband was not with her too. The next few minutes may cost her dearly. But she is doing the right thing. A knock on door and her secretary informs her that the VP has arrived and the meeting is about to begin. She heads towards the conference room with an envelope with header "COMPLAINT AGAINST SEXUAL HARASSMENT" and her back towards colleagues calling her B***h.

Nevada, USA

Then childhood buddies now husband and wife, Neha and Rajat Saxena are a perfect couple in the eyes of family and friends but not so perfect for each other. Rajat Saxena works Manager at DNA enterprise, one of the top business group in USA. Neha is a stay at home mom of 5 year old Neil. Today both have different plans. Rajat has quit his job at DNA to follow his dream of becoming a writer. Neha doesn't know till now. He will break the news to her today. 

In the other room Neha is busy pondering over the greatest decision of her life. She was leaving for husband. Ever since they got married Rajat seemed distant and lost. He often worked till late and was hardly seen at home. Now Rajat is almost a stranger to Neha and young Neil. And this realisation was suffocating. With a small stroley and a handbag Neha and Neil left for airport.

Mumbai, Maharashtra

CA by profession and mother of twin daughters, Preeti lived with her husband and in laws in the sub urban part. Uday her husband was an alcoholic and for most parts her in laws and the society held Preeti responsible for it. She was a bad wife and daughter in law who loved her career more than her family. Or that's what the rumours say. It's her eighth wedding anniversary and as usual uday is out getting drunk. That's it. She was leaving him.

But today while cleaning the closet she found an old greeting card Uday had given her long time ago. Long forgotten memories came flooding to her. Ohh how they loved each other then.. She can't leave him when he needed her the most. She won't. Preeti wipes her tears and decides to give this marriage one more chance.

Four parallel lives. Four women. Millions of judgement. Same conclusion. BAD WOMEN. And there are millions more like them who trust themselves more than anyone and are judged for life. 

Bad is such a negative word. Add it to anything or anyone and that becomes not acceptable anymore. A bad weather, a bad idea, bad news, bad hair day. Speaking of people when we add bad before a person suddenly an image develops in our mind which resembles the most notorious character of a play or movie. A bad politician, a bad teacher, a bad bahu, bad mother, bad women. The meaning of the word is something of poor quality, unacceptable, unwelcome. Question is by whom ? The society, an individual or your own self ? 

We are judged on matter what we do. And more so for women. However hard you try you will be a bad bahu. However fair you play you will be a bad boss. However diligently work you will be an average worker. And however way to choose to parent your children you will be a bad mom. So why are we so petrified to be labelled as bad ? 

Now let's look at it this way.

Bad means not bending to the society's rules. Bad means expressing your opinion. Bad means not sacrificing your dreams. Bad means speaking your mind even if your voice shakes. Bad means refusing to be someone's cup of tea. Bad means saying No and mean it. Bad means not settling for anything less than what you deserve. Bad means making your own self a priority. Bad means being a woman in the world of men and ruling it. Bad means taking charge as the woman of the house from former woman of the house. Bad means taking the opportunity to work for yourself opposed to working for that big multinational corporations. Bad means going where your heart takes you. Bad means getting out of that abusive relationship even if that means going against your family.

If bad means listening to your inner voice and trusting it, Bad is good. 

#stopjudging

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