|   May 14, 2017

                                                 SHE WAS DIVA IN HER OWN WAY

She was a feminist, way back in 60-70’s when the word wasn’t popular like today. She defied almost all rules of a typical middle class family and lived her life Queen size.

 Well I am not talking about any Bollywood icon or any social celebrity but I am talking about an ordinary woman but a person very special to me-- my mother.

She was born as the consecutive fourth girl in her family so there wasn’t an iota of celebrations on her birth. But things took 360degree turn when her arrival was soon followed by two sons. She became the lucky one beating the elder three sisters and was named ‘ VEERMATI’. 'Veer' in Punjabi means brother and she was the one who brought two brothers in tow with her. 'Veer' also means brave and indeed she was brave. Soon she became the most pampered child in the family, at times more demanding than the boys.  She was the first female in the family to study in school and first woman to work as Aanganwadi teacher.  She visited neighbouring areas of Delhi for her job and moved around freely without any male escort which was'nt commom in her time. She wasn’t much interested in household chores especially cooking which was must during her time. She never helped her mother in kitchen instead she did all the outdoor works like buying grocery, did shopping for her siblings wedding. Her taste in jewellery and clothes was very exquisite and preferred to stay updated in latest fashion trends.  Infact she gave certain grace to clothes with her beautiful looks,glowing skin.charming smile and long black tresses. To counter heat waves during summers,she started wearing sleeveless dresses, gowns and stopped taking pallu , much to the bewilderment of her family as well as in-laws .She never hesitated to voice her opinions. Her relatives never dared to mess with her.

Then marriage happened and she opted for inter caste marriage, again first in her family. My dad was a reserved, shy man from UP and she was boisterous punjaban. She changed herself a lot and did lots of compromises and adjustments but never compromised with her self respect and dignity. She was a perfect homemaker, kept her home neat and clean, very protective about her kids and household. She was very clear about her priorities and showed the person his/her place when someone stepped on her shoes. My nani used to stay with us when staying in girl’s house wasn’t considered well. Infact she played the son’s role much better as compared to her brothers. She managed household expenditure meticulously and saved money enoughin the meagre income of government school teacher. According to my dad she changed his one room house into well furnished home. During our summer vacations she used to take me and my brother with her to Bombay as my father had other things to manage. As she didn't prefer to do household work, she was fondly called 'Baby Doll' by her family members.During my marriage negotiations she made it very clear to my father's family that her daughter’s happiness, that’s me, is of utmost importance to her because they weren't too happy with my inter caste marriage. She seemed quite tough from exterior but she was very soft hearted and generous though harsh in using words.

Before my marriage, I was always at loggerheads with her but after my marriage we became quite close. I could understand how she struggled through her male dominated family. Now when she is no more but she was a great wife, a great mother,a great daughter and a doting grandmother. She lived her life to the fullest, lived like a Queen. Such is her aura that she is often quoted in household matters in appreciation as well as awe .I can definitely say that she is my #momspiration. So I pay her my tribute in #mothersdaycontest at mycity4kids. I am thankful to her for all she has done for me. LOVE YOU MOM.



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