I haven't heard much about still birth until October’15, when suddenly my life came to a stand still. I was 8 months pregnant and was eagerly waiting to deliver my second child. Even in my wildest of dream I couldn’t believe that my baby was gone.
The Unfateful Day
It was my 8 month into pregnancy and as a part of my routine check up I went to the hospital. During my checkup the doctor said ‘ there is no heart beat, without any slightest of doubt I asked her to check again. It was then she called my husband and said sorry and tore my world apart. Almost after a period of one day I got to know that my little soul died. There were no warning sign, there was nothing unusual about that day except my baby’s early morning kick( that was a miss) . My baby’s kick were a ritual that my little daughter followed everyday before going to school and my dear husband waved him goodbye,calling him by every silly name that crossed his mind. My every dream of motherhood and little sister’s sibling love ,all was shattered in those few seconds.
I gave birth to a lifeless baby and the causes were unknown. After coming from labour room, I was going through the gush of emotions hatred, sorrow anger, voices of congratulatory messages from the adjoining room were giving me those sinking feeling in the stomach. For quiet sometime I was not able to accept the reality, It was so hard to answer my little daughter’s questions. I disliked everyone who tried to console me by saying that it was a miscarriage. I wanted to scream and shout and tell them that every part of my little soul existed.
How, why and when still remain unanswered. However, the saddest part is the ratio of still birth is very high particularly in India still people are not ready to talk about it,
Still birth is when a baby is born dead after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Unfortunately the ratio of still birth is highest in India ( 66% as per World Health Organization) .still we don’t treat still birth as true death.
Causes of Still Birth
In most cases the causes are unexplained. But there are at times problem in placenta ( part which nourishes the baby). There is also a problem of umbilical cord ( the cord comes out of the vagina before the baby) blocking the oxygen supply. Mother’s medical condition such as diabetes or high blood pressure also at times result in still birth . There are also hormonal imbalance and genetic disorder which result into loss.
Coping with the loss
Unfortunately no words can help a mother to bear the pain of such a loss. Initially I had shut myself from the outside world ignoring my little daughter and my better half but I have learnt that time is the biggest healer. Give time to yourself, talk to your friends, family, As the time move on , u get the strength to cope up. Also sharing is very important in healing. I also remember my time,I was into the state of depression. I was not able to accept the reality. But seeking professional help ,helped me to overcome the loss. Taking care of yourself is equally important ,eating well, taking rest help you to heal faster both physically and emotionally.
Babies are not suppose to die. The pain is devastating. Today my baby was suppose to be 2 months and 15 days but I am better than before .Time has helped me but I will love him forever with all my heart.