Life with a Toddler 101
|   Apr 07, 2016
Life with a Toddler 101

Life with a toddler 101

Chapter : Getting the toddler to sleep , combined with the summer heat , and full blown pms.

Situation: I have just picked up the toddler from her play school and we are back home .


Wailing no.(1) : Does not want to remove her shoes. 
Wailing no.( 2 ): Does not want to wash her hands after peeing.
Wailing no.( 3 ): Does not want to changer her clothes and wear a diaper.
Wailing no. (4) : Does not want to go down to play. 
Wailing no.(5) : Does not want to come back home after playing 
Wailing no.(6): Does not want to wash her hands and feet.
Wailing no.(7) : Does not want to change out of the wet clothes. 
Wailing no.(what was the last number ? ): Wants to eat a banana.
Wailing no.(really I have forgotten how to count) : Does not want to eat the banana that she demanded 5 seconds ago. 
Wailing no.(forget it) : Because the song "jabra fan" will just not play on any of the million music channels.
Wailing no.(oh yes somewhere in the thousands) : Wants to wipe me with the dirtiest wash cloth she can find, and I deny .
Wailing no.(somewhere in the thousands plus 1) : Does not want to eat the curd rice that she spent the last 10 mins spreading all over her body .
Wailing no.(blah blah plus 2) : Because now she is covered head to toe in curd rice. 
Wailing no.(are you still counting?) : Does not want to wash her hands,feet,face,head,stomach , to remove the curd rice .
Wailing no.(haha haha,) : Does not want to be wiped dry or wear any clothes .

And this all is only from 7pm to 9 pm .
Now the bed time routine starts ...

Wailing no.(bazillion) : Does not want to brush teeth.
Wailing no.(bazilion and 1) : Insists that she wants to poop and I am convincing her that she does not , and is only trying to extend the bed time.
Wailing no.(bazilion and 2) : Because I don't allow her to run around the house naked shouting "potty aali potty aali".
Wailing no.(is it just me or the word wailing has lost its meaning?) : Does not want to wear the night clothes so I have picked her up and dragged her to the bed kicking and screaming , forcing her to wear clothes .
Wailing no.(blah) : Wants to drink water 5 seconds after I specifically asked her and she refused .

Finally she is in bed , with her diaper and her night clothes on. Water has been drunk. I lie down next to her. Today I am just not in the mood for any bed time stories or songs , so I pretend to sleep . She calls me for some time. I tell her that I am very upset and not talking to her. She comes close to me, cradles my head and says "my bachchu" and plants a sloppy wet kiss on my forehead . 
Ok by this point I generally cave(I mean who wouldn't) .. But not today .. I refuse to open my eyes .. So then she does the next most logical thing , she sits on my face and almost punctures my eyes while trying to pry them open with her fingers . Finally I open my eyes (mostly due to fear of injury) and I smile at her. In response to my smile, overjoyed by my gesture of truce, she lovingly puts her finger in her mouth, then her nose and oh so lovingly draws beautiful saliva and snot filled patterns on my face ... 
If that is not love I don't know what is ..

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