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Farts are funny. Talking to your toddler about farts is even funnier. Its because they don't know why it is funny. They laugh when they fart , because it is a funny feeling . And also a kind of relief . They giggle and they announce proudly that have farted . They announce even louder when it's you who have farted.
I have begun to enjoy farts much more now that I am a mother because me and my toddler have a hearty laugh about it. Though I completely forgot the toddlers ability to reproduce any and every thing that she experiences in the house, to the outside world. And now with a toddler always around , the joy of letting one go in peace and with nobody to overhear, is lost.
Here is an incident where I wished I could just disappear into thin air . Me and my toddler were grocery shopping at the nearby vegetable market. It was early in the evening and hence the vegetable market was not too crowded . I was waiting for the seller to measure out bhindi for me . There must be around 7 to 8 people around within earshot . And that is the time I decided to relieve one. Now it was a fairly crowded road so I was confident that it was going to go unnoticed . Except that I forgot my toddler who is at now at a very interesting height . She immediately heard and in all her innocence , loudly asked me "Mommy did you fart?"
There was a sudden silence , and awkward looks were passed all around . I turned the brightest shade of pink as I replied, "No no. Are you mad?? "
People in the vicinity are sniggering , avoiding looking at me . I am avoiding looking at them . My bhindi is lying on the measuring sale forgotten .
And then the descendent of Raja Harishchandra , my beloved daughter again replies at her loudest , "No mummy , you farted loudly."
Silence , and slowly now some more very obvious sniggers.
I summon all my courage , while in my mind believing that I am in a parallel universe and nobody can see or hear me, I silently hold out my bag for the bhindi. The seller empties the contents in my bag without a word. I suspect he must have put a couple of pieces extra out of pity. I pay him and without bothering to wait for the change , I walk out of the market , pulling my toddler along , my head held high(?) with fake pride as if nothing happened, and my dignity down in the drain