The Fart Conversation
|   Jun 20, 2016
The Fart Conversation

Farts are funny. Talking to your toddler about farts is even funnier. Its because they don't know why it is funny. They laugh when they fart , because it is a funny feeling . And also a kind of relief . They giggle and they announce proudly that have farted . They announce even louder when it's you who have farted.

I have begun to enjoy farts much more now that I am a mother because me and my toddler have a hearty laugh  about it. Though I completely forgot the toddlers ability to reproduce any and every thing that she experiences in the house, to the outside world. And now with a toddler always around , the joy of letting one go in peace and with nobody to overhear, is lost.

Here is an incident where I wished I could just disappear into thin air .  Me and my toddler were grocery shopping at the nearby vegetable market.  It was early in the evening and hence the vegetable market was not too crowded . I was waiting for the seller to measure out bhindi for me . There must be around 7 to 8 people around within earshot . And that is the time I decided to relieve one.  Now it was a fairly crowded road so I was confident that it was going to go unnoticed . Except that I forgot my toddler who is at now at a very interesting height . She immediately heard and in all her innocence , loudly asked me "Mommy did you fart?"

There was a sudden silence , and awkward looks were passed all around . I turned the brightest shade of pink as I replied, "No no. Are you mad?? " 

People in the vicinity are sniggering , avoiding looking at me . I am avoiding looking at them . My bhindi is lying on the measuring sale forgotten .

And then the descendent of Raja Harishchandra , my beloved daughter again replies at her loudest , "No mummy , you farted loudly." 

Silence , and slowly now some more very obvious sniggers. 

I summon all my courage , while in my mind believing that I am in a parallel universe and nobody can see or hear me, I silently hold out my bag for the bhindi. The seller empties the contents in my bag without a word. I suspect he must have put a couple of pieces extra out of pity.  I pay him  and without bothering to wait for the change , I walk out of the market , pulling my toddler along , my head held high(?) with fake pride as if nothing happened, and my dignity down in the drain

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