Mental abuse A bigger menace!!
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|   Apr 16, 2016
Mental abuse A bigger menace!!
        Whenever I go through various mass media,I find a vast number of incidents relating to various kinds of abuses towards women in all castes n classes the world over.... It is always saddening to read the dual standards of our the so-called 'educated society' that it cannot equalise between the genders.                                    Everyone sympathises with a woman who is either abused physically or financially by her husband or her partner.People see their sufferings and sympathise and hence such women become successful to an extent to bring the brutality towards them in picture. There is a vast lot of women who are unable to bring their sufferings to everyone's notice.The problems are not only those which are visible.... There is a big size of women..educated women too...in our civilized society who suffer mental abuse regularly and on a daily basis... These women belong to that group who do not show there sufferings to even the people they live around... Many of these educated women,may be working or stay-at- home,belonging to well-to-do families ,have learnt very well to camouflage their pain... 
  A woman can survive without money and to an extent without love but how can one expect her to live without self respect... Our Indian society,though modernising with each new day,still is on the back foot when it comes about providing with atleast equal rights to respect for her and her family members.... Even today,a wife is denied the rights to be a part of major or important decisions of family,though she is capable enough...only because it hurts the 'izzat'of the husband's family... What will the society say??Women are not supposed to take decisions.... Still women try adjusting to this too,thinking what matters is that the things should fall in place and avoid unnecessary friction...                                                                             Since a girl is born,she is brought up in our societies to learn that adjustment  is meant for you and the more you adjust,the more better daughter you will be considered...With these words ringing in her ears all life time..once she gets married..she takes up on the front to "adjust".There is no harm in adjusting because every relationship requires this essential ingredient...but why  it is 'exclusively' made for the wives...                                                                         Again,still coping with these daily adjustments,a wife tries everyday to deliver her best to keep her husband and family happy..A woman is gifted with a large amount of patience..(as if God, while distributing gave out the major share to us).. Any woman has the patience to listen anything for herself...but the things become hardened for her when everytime her parents and family are pulled in each argument.. in each bad comparison... Her father,mother are held responsible for all the wrong things.Any thing going wrong in her parents'family allows the husband and her family to form an opinion about her and even spill ill words about them...
      The pain a woman goes through while hearing such ruthless words about her family is far more pinching then being hit physically...Any self conscious woman dies a hundreds of deaths everyday when she has to bear such pain.She is unable to explain our society that atleast physical wounds can be shown but such wounds are not visible to the society...    The society can determine opinions by only seeing the external appearance of a wife whether she is a lucky fellow or not by seeing her  clothes and diamonds and the fake smile that she uses to hide her pain.. No one ever realises the depth of the mental trauma she goes through everyday and any time not even known to herself...These wounds are irreparable and break a woman's self confidence every time...                                         Each day she picks up the pieces of her broken confidence or her self-respect and gets prepared for the next day to be again mentally assaulted... Some may say why does a woman need to bear all this? The answer is...it's in her genes...(gifted from her family) passed on to her without even being questioned once since generations.. Sometimes for the sake of her children,sometimes for the parents. Sometimes even to maintain the sanctity of marriage or to set an example for their kids... A woman can rebel...but she can't take up any outsider criticise her as a failure in handling her family and just for this sake she keeps taking up all the sufferings even without uttering a word..                    The solution to this already existing, deeply rooted problem is not only for women to not accept these atrocities... But even for the husbands and their families to atleast consider that this  wounded woman is also a human being..and understand that even she has a heart and she loves her parents equally as her husband and children... The main and most importantly, the society has to identify this physical abuse as a more grievous problem and work towards bringing improvements.                        Firstly,we need to teach our daughters to adjust but not on the cost of their self respect..  The phrase 'Log kya kahenge'is a big time torture... No one is interested in your life unless you invite them to interfere and the most important thing,each parent should support their daughters mentally always because this  the place they are hurt the most and on the contrary,women are more stronger then men from here too..

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