Motherhood - Are we there yet?
|   Jul 23, 2015
Motherhood - Are we there yet?

You may have the wisest of friends, worst of enemies or the best companion for life. Yet the best advice any person can receive is from the oldest friend of all… Mother!

It is quite common that every girl will pass through a phase in life, when her mother is considered as the biggest enemy; a hindrance to independence and a complaint book to dad; or may be someone who doesn’t want her to look beautiful. A wise man once said, “If you want to know how much your parents love you, make a mistake”. I did not dare to commit a crime but for all the complicated versions of my silly faults, she was my savior at all times.

I know she is old; she can’t use our iPhone, can’t order pizza online or ‘Like’ us on Facebook. However, she has seen enough of life, faced with the same emotions we experience each day from being an ugly insecure teen to the most wonderful mother; from tolerating a short-tempered dad to a least-helping husband. She can read our mind and reciprocate it with no commas.

I am a modern woman, a working professional and a yet-to-be mother; one who believes that career is as equally important as family to any woman. Besides, I can make myself completely understand that women in the present generation have changed and their needs have increased in a broader perspective that exceeded geographical borders and continents. We are successful at all levels of career, and proved our worth despite all kinds of oppositions and restrictions. Our generation has raised above all the orthodox thoughts and we proved to be equally potential in this extremely viable world.

On the contrary, an analysis into the present-day families, with educated and employed woman, may give you a completely different picture. Working mothers in the present society, who rarely cook and rely on the maid, may not have a daughter who understands the importance of cooking for the family in order to create a lively bond. A working mother, who seldom has time for the kids, will not be able to teach her kids how relations are an integral part of life. Some short-tempered, intolerant, and adamant mothers of today’s generation can be nothing but a bad example to a daughter who is yet to be a complete woman.

I know that traditions are boring and they are no longer valued in today’s so-called modern era. However, India, as a nation, is born and brought up by a culture that considers the mother as an equivalent to almighty and an embodiment of patience and tolerance. Yet, the changing times and corporate work cultures have created a new definition all-together. Meanwhile, we conquered the greatest heights; and have we forgotten the basics on which our feet were once and still rested. Social status has become so important that we are rarely having time for the emotional attachment towards the kids and family.

We, today's working women, may need to question ourselves as to what is our personal contribution towards molding our kids into responsible individuals. Emotional attachment and responsible parenting seem to be missing; instead there is only a time bound relationship with the children. Society and our professions have been digging so much out of us, that we may have lost the warmth and affection that once used to be a born-trait for a woman. I agree with people who say that mothers are always the same; but what about the clearly-visible change in the perspective of today’s working woman. Moreover, we cannot deny fact that the degenerating moral values in the society are partly attributable to a generation of feminists who had no time to imbue some morals into their children's heads.

We have targets to reach, and projects to complete. However, we need not give up your career and dreams; lose our personal space or stay devoted to being a home maker. Still, we can spare some time for your family, because when we look back into your life there shouldn’t be an unsuccessful mother who will regret the moments she missed - play-time with kids, cooking for husband or an untold bedtime story for children.

On the other hand, an onsite assignment can be a proud achievement but nothing matters much, if my child calls me a ‘role model’ and proudly says, “In my every step, you were always there.” 

This article was originally published in Caleidoscope

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