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Hello Aunty, so nice to see u..
Same here darling , haven't met u since u moved to another city, How are things?
All is going well aunty, we are finally settled and enjoying the new environment..
That's great, so when are u giving the Good news??
Oh I have good news Aunty, my husband and I got promoted, we moved into our own apartment and the news that u want to hear is not coming around for another year.
N suddenly the look on Aunty's face changed she was not prepared for the reply and felt embarrassed.😋
This is just a hypothetical conversation but I'm sure all my married friends must have faced the "Good News" question infinite number of times. N we all to have deal with it in the most humble and composed manner. From the neighbour next door to the distant relative at a cousin's wedding, all are eagerly waiting for the big arrival.
I always wonder why is everyone so eager to hear the good news. Has it become a societal norm to expand the family within a few years of marriage or a matter of prestige to have successors to carry on the family name? There maybe many reasons but having a child or the decision to start a family should not imposed on a couple by constantly bombarding them with family planning questions..
Marriage is a beautiful institution that brings together two individuals and their respective families. Whether it's a love marriage or an arranged one, only when the couple starts living together they realise how much more they have to know about each other, learn about the family traditions and customs , and adjust to each others usual habits which are not shared even during the night long conversations of courtship.. ( Surprises add up to the sparkle in the initial days post marriage).
To have a baby or deciding not to have a baby is entirely the personal choice of a couple. A baby is an extension of the love that two people share and raising a child is the joint responsibility of both mother n father. Only when the couple feel that they are mentally prepared to take up the responsibility of caring for a little one, should they start planning.. Now a days many couple decide not to have a baby.. Its not that they don't love kids or believe in parenting, sometimes they feel they are just not ready to be parents yet or in future. That does not make them materialistic or selfish.. They are simply happy and content with other things that life has to offer..
Women are multitaskers.. Whether its at home or at workplace or any other social responsibility, they get into the flow and manage things perfectly. But having a baby changes her life forever.. Its not just about flaunting the bump or not worrying about your weight for the next one year or buying fancy baby stuff.. It's a real job.. So it's very important for her to be prepared mentally and physically. It is totally up to her to decide when she wants to take a break from her career. She is well aware about her biological clock and should not be constantly reminded of the age factor or time flying away theory.. A mother is a mother at any age. ( Of course there might be sum hitches but not necessarily). Raising a child is the most beautiful job that she has to do and so it is necessary that she takes this step with a peaceful mind and happy heart.. ( I'll be sharing tips for planning a baby in another blog, so not going into details).
I cannot forget the other partner here. With so much stress around whether its travelling , managing deadlines or finances it is equally important for the "father to be" to cut down on the stress before starting a family ,so that he can spend as much time possible with his better half. It's not always about midnight cravings or foot massages ( as is usually shown in movies ), sometimes all she needs is to go for a casual walk with you or share her anxiety or just sit besides you feeling your warmth..
But Life can never be planned 100%.. And sometimes the little package arrives at a time when a couple is not at all prepared. All I can say for them is that they got blessed earlier than expected. There may be fear and anxiety intially but as the journey progresses everything falls in place and life becomes more exciting.
So all my friends who are still in the Couple Phase, Enjoy your Martinis n adventure vacations till it's time for diaper changing and 3am feeds !! Till then lets keep the Auntie's guessing😊😊