PARENTHOOD - It's about Father too!!
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|   Jun 13, 2017
PARENTHOOD - It's about Father too!!

 Mother is the first teacher to the child, there is no denial in this fact. But unfortunately the statement has undermined the role of father in child’s development and growth too. Especially in Indian families it is presumed that mother has to be the sole caretaker of the baby and unfortunately Indian families have traditionally been showcased as father being the breadwinner of the family while the poor mums need to look after the kids.

Father’s parenting styles are quite different to that of the mothers. While “nurturing behavior” is seen central to mothering, fatherhood is based more on “play behavior”. They tend to be rough or try to be manly about parenting style. This, for a change may be welcoming to your kid as well. Change is always good. Kid may look forward to the excitement of playing with fathers as well. An involved father is one who is sensitive, warm, close, friendly, supportive, intimate, nurturing, affectionate, encouraging, comforting and accepting.

Don’t be alarmed to see his parenting style which may not be as gentle/ tender as yours. Fathers tend to be worse than wimpy kids when asked to take care of the kids. All they need is gentle encouragement and reinforcement to let them know that you appreciate his parenting style.  Encourage fathers in whatever little or more he is doing for his baby.  React positively to his involvement and stop criticizing!  

Stop “Mumgating!” yes there is such a thing when mums for whatever reason do not show much confidence in parenting skills of  the fathers and unknowingly distance dads from the kids. This could also be arising out of sense of insecurity or losing grip or touch with their kids. Not only you would be distancing him from your kid but depriving your little one for not so tender loving care from his dad. Fathers parenting style will be different to mothers but the child and inner child within the father will have an active bonding that is going to last for the rest of their lives.  Provide for every little opportunity that he can spend time with his kid.

Not all fathers have the level of involvement they’d like to have. Whether it’s due to life circumstances or other factors, some fathers haven’t yet stepped into their role as important, nurturing influences on their children. While most fathers seem content with themselves being an extra set of hands in the house rather considering themselves “irreplaceable” for their children.

There is an overwhelming wealth of evidence in literature regarding the role of fathers.  Here are some noteworthy research conclusions.

  • Infants have shown to adjust and cope well with extended family better when their fathers have been actively involved in care giving.
  • Parenting capabilities of fathers have traditionally been undermined unaware of the fathers can be sensitive and responsive to infant cues.
  • Fathers can stimulate and hold on to infant’s attention longer and in more enjoyable types of play.
  • Boys with warm nurturing fathers are more likely to grow up self confident, academically successful, and generous and compassionate too.
  • Fathers who are respectful and nurturing are more likely to pass on the same to their offspring’s who then grow to respect girls.
  •  Set up “Dad time” depending on your schedules; ensure some time of the clock in father’s busy schedule is set out exclusively for kids. You are going to benefit in many ways, what is “ Dad time” can be used for your “Me time” or you could take care of unfinished business at home or work while your baby is bonding with their father. Ensure no distractions or interruptions during this time.  Perhaps your baby can have even more fun time when both parents are actively involved with quality time and shall look forward to such times every day.  That is why I keep urging involvement of both parents to spend time with your child.

    Society need to understand that active role of a father is equally important and should not be criticized. As much as Earning and making a livelihood is thought to be important, spending time with your kid is equally important for a role of Dad. When fathers are very involved, encouraging, and supportive, mothers tend to be more positive, sensitive, and responsive to their kids.

    A Salute and appreciation to all the fathers who actively take part in their kid’s day to day activities along with mum.

     

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