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Mother is the first teacher to the child, there is no denial in this fact. But unfortunately the statement has undermined the role of father in child’s development and growth too. Especially in Indian families it is presumed that mother has to be the sole caretaker of the baby and unfortunately Indian families have traditionally been showcased as father being the breadwinner of the family while the poor mums need to look after the kids.
Father’s parenting styles are quite different to that of the mothers. While “nurturing behavior” is seen central to mothering, fatherhood is based more on “play behavior”. They tend to be rough or try to be manly about parenting style. This, for a change may be welcoming to your kid as well. Change is always good. Kid may look forward to the excitement of playing with fathers as well. An involved father is one who is sensitive, warm, close, friendly, supportive, intimate, nurturing, affectionate, encouraging, comforting and accepting.
Don’t be alarmed to see his parenting style which may not be as gentle/ tender as yours. Fathers tend to be worse than wimpy kids when asked to take care of the kids. All they need is gentle encouragement and reinforcement to let them know that you appreciate his parenting style. Encourage fathers in whatever little or more he is doing for his baby. React positively to his involvement and stop criticizing!
Stop “Mumgating!” yes there is such a thing when mums for whatever reason do not show much confidence in parenting skills of the fathers and unknowingly distance dads from the kids. This could also be arising out of sense of insecurity or losing grip or touch with their kids. Not only you would be distancing him from your kid but depriving your little one for not so tender loving care from his dad. Fathers parenting style will be different to mothers but the child and inner child within the father will have an active bonding that is going to last for the rest of their lives. Provide for every little opportunity that he can spend time with his kid.
Not all fathers have the level of involvement they’d like to have. Whether it’s due to life circumstances or other factors, some fathers haven’t yet stepped into their role as important, nurturing influences on their children. While most fathers seem content with themselves being an extra set of hands in the house rather considering themselves “irreplaceable” for their children.
There is an overwhelming wealth of evidence in literature regarding the role of fathers. Here are some noteworthy research conclusions.
Society need to understand that active role of a father is equally important and should not be criticized. As much as Earning and making a livelihood is thought to be important, spending time with your kid is equally important for a role of Dad. When fathers are very involved, encouraging, and supportive, mothers tend to be more positive, sensitive, and responsive to their kids.
A Salute and appreciation to all the fathers who actively take part in their kid’s day to day activities along with mum.