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‘Oh! The entire house isn't my toilet?’
Yes, it seems my 19 month old has this expression on her face when she poops in her bloomers and drops them on the floor and I give her a stern look, then pick her up as fast as possible and rush to the bathroom.
If you have been potty training your toddler, then... please share some tips with me too!
So I was told by the elders in the family not to make your new born wear diapers all the time.
‘They also might be feeling so tight and constraint’, said one of the elders.
But I did what was comfortable for me and the baby and she has been using diapers since she was born.
So after her first birthday and during the summer months, I thought I should start potty training her. Her timings for pooping are usually fixed, she is happy to sit on her toilet seat but she hardly tells me when she has to pee. So I need to take her to the bathroom every hour now.
The following incident though, has made me have second thoughts on this whole potty training bit!
I cannot say I am blessed to have a very helpful husband. Mr. Kung fu Panda (I call my hubby) would rather be sitting with his phone or watching TV than helping me with taking care of the baby.
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon (lazy for the Panda. Remember mothers have no days off!) and after preparing the chicken curry (Mr. Panda’s wish) I announced that I am going to take a long bath, so you better be in charge here and keep an eye on the minion (our daughter) and the giant furry friend of hers (our pet Labrador).
‘Oh, now worries. You go take a long bath. I am here with both my daughters!’
I roll my eyes and send a silent prayer to please let me take a 15 minute shower in peace. I had ordered a new Moroccan shampoo and conditioner and was dying to try them out.
5 minutes in the shower, I had applied my shampoo and was lathering it well, immersing myself in its vanilla fragrance when .... ‘EKTAAAAAAAAAA........... EKTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...........Oh noooo!!!!’ wailed the Panda.
‘What happened?’ I shrieked
‘Prisha has done potty and she has applied it all over her! Daisy was about to eat her poop... take her inside....she has poop all over her!’
It’s just poop! I thought... but did I have a choice?
‘I have just applied shampoo... can’t you clean her up?’ I say frantically!
‘How? What do I do? Yukkkk....Prisha nooooo!!!!’
I had to rush. I wipe my hands, wrap my towel around me, wear my PJ over my shower-wet-legs and come out.
The baby bomb had exploded everywhere... that too in the kitchen where she was trying to cook and play with few of the vessels.
‘What I eat comes out of me, so it’s OK if I cook it again?’ maybe she thinks in this manner.
I pick her up and rush to the bathroom... take off her clothes, give her a 2 minute short bath, properly with soap. I have a stern look on my face and this tiny atom bomb knows she has done something wrong. So she obliges to everything I say. I dry her and shove her once again to Mr. Panda who is shocked as to how such a tiny creature can poop so much and then apply on her legs and also try to cook with it.
I head towards the kitchen and start cleaning the floor and vessels which had traces of poop. I check on the furry bystander and yes, she does have something brown on her nose. I wipe that off with water and soap. (I still don't know if she had taken anything inside her mouth! eeekkk!)
All this while the shampoo bubbles were just pooping...uh...popping...on my head...maybe they were trying to keep my head cool, but I was boiling inside.
I manage to finish my bath in another 5 minutes. But I did not give the Panda the best chicken pieces that day. He had the ones with more bones on it while I saved the best for myself and the tiny atom bomb.
‘That is why she poops so much’, complains the still zapped Mr. Panda.
‘I don’t care. All I know is that she will be potty trained one day, but you need to be poop trained first!’