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More often than not, when we are conversing socially and I am asked what is it that I do; I say "I am a mom and I take care of my son". I get blank looks and many people even ask "Oh...and......". I give them an equally bland look and say "And...nothing!"It is this "and....." which really irks me at times. Is being "Just" a mom not enough? Or is it that people out there are so naive that they do not know what being "Just" a mom entails?
So, to all those who think being "Just A Mom" is something petty, let me give you a brief of what I am talking about.
I am talking about daily morning. The struggle to scramble to shut the alarm before it wakes up your baby. I am talking about splashing water on your face, staring at he mirror, sighing.....wondering feeling why you feel so tired....when the day has barely begun....remembering a dozen things that need your attention before you can actually brush your teeth....wandering to the kitchen thinking you will complete this one chore and then go brush.....the one chore turns to ten and you still haven't found time to brush....you make coffee for yourself and set it to cool.....meanwhile preparing breakfast for hubby and toddler, sterilizing his bottles and doing multiple other small small jobs....soon you realize your coffee has become cold coffee....and your baby is up.....
I know there is not much glamour in it.....it is about you....it is about putting yourself into it....minute by minute.....to create a day....a month.....a life. An ordinary, non-glam life.....one filled with beautiful mommy moments....Somehow in this mixed up world, run by media led opinions, the simplicity and beauty of being a mom is lost....there is a race to be a super mom and look tip-top , have the perfect house, perfect husband, perfect figure and perfect well-behaved kids......and maybe kill yourself in the process....
Somewhere down, I realized that I need to slow down.....need to enjoy it.....need to be just a mom.....and it is enough.....There is no full marks, no grade of success, no pedestal......end of the day what matters is that your baby looks up to you, comes to you for a hug with shining eyes, snuggles up to you and thinks you have all the answers in the world. That is enough, it is all that matters.....
Little things matter. Things like actually, really playing with my son who is stacking blocks; instead of looking at my phone every minute; not be constantly worried about the dishes, about the laundry and other chores but actually spend time with my son, cooking for him, laughing together, eating together and many such simple things. Simple "Mommy" things. These are things you will not find on social media. These are things that are devoid of glamour. These are things that most people do really see or know about. But these things matter.....a lot!
People do not see you juggling one hundred things at the same time. They do not know about how you meticulously plan the best for your baby and not one day goes as per your plan. They don't see the number of nights you have stayed awake. They don't know about how, even after everyone goes to sleep, you stay awake rocking, soothing, cuddling and cooing. They do not know about the kisses on forehead, band-aids on knees, those little hands that reach up to you with complete trust. The dozen things that you do daily - make beds, nutritious food, laundry, potty, play-time and more. At times, tears of desperation and frustration sting my eyes as I push myself through the day - but more often than not, this happens during my periods.
These small small things matter.These are the things that add up......one by one to make a lifelong of memories.And I believe, these things are enough.Somewhere, all of us- moms are running in the race to be super-moms and we have set the standards so high for ourselves, that it is killing us to be meeting them. We need to remember- someone else's child will always be better than ours in something.
That does not mean you push yourself or your child further.
Because there is no supermom.
There are only real moms - women who do their best, women who trip and fall but yet again stand up, women who scramble in this mad race of parenthood to keep it all together, women who go on. Moms like you and me, who are sometimes scared, sometimes overwhelmed with all the challenges, all the expectations and all the judgements that are passed over our style of parenting.
We are mothers who go on, who love our kids from the bottom of our hearts, who will fight, pray, work and never give up when it comes to them....Today......Tomorrow......And the days thereafter....But at the end of it.......When my son reaches out to me, looks at me like I have all the answers in the world and cuddles up to me, in his sleep......I am in heaven......no matter how weary, my arms clasp tightly around him and I say a silent prayer to thank God for the little miracle in my arms, who never fails to amaze me!
I say that is what is being "Just a Mom". It is more than enough. It is awesome! We all are awesome!!!!