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A promise fulfilled...
"I think I am pregnant" These words evoked a stunned reaction from my husband. He couldn't say anything initially. Post that he was both happy and scared - just as I was. But he put aside his fear, put his arms around me and said "Don't worry. It is going to be ok. I promise I will be there for you"
And throughout my pregnancy I kept fearing the silliest of things but he was there for me. When the smell of food nauseated me and I was unable to cook, he cooked. When I was unable to control and I threw up, he patted my back and cleaned up. He accompanied me for every scan and every doctor's visit. He rejoiced seeing the first scan. He was awed feeling the baby kick. Right from cravings to hormonal tantrums to no sex- he took it all in his stride.
Moving on to the actual delivery. Mine was a surprise delivery and pain started in the middle of the night. I was at my mother's house and I called hubby who came rushing immediately.Throughout the 13 hours of labour, he stood with me, reassuring me - despite being repeatedly kicked out of the delivery room by the doctors. When my son entered this world and I was being stitched up, he cuddled his son and said an emotional "Thank You" to me. It kind of made my day no actually my entire life. He did not gross out at the site of so much blood and helped me change pads, carried me to the loo and did everything possible to make my stay at the hospital comfortable.
Post that also, this man has forever been there for us. Juggling work, moving houses so that it is closer to my place of work (even though it means travelling a lot more for him), waking up at nights, soothing the baby, letting me sleep whenever possible and more. Yes! I know I am lucky.
But the biggest surprise was yet to come. I was one of those fortunate enough to be blessed with a naturally thin frame and a flat stomach.And my hubby has been someone who has always been conscious about how I look, what I wear etc. He maintains his physique and used to expect me to do so as well!
Post delivery, no matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to go down to the pre-pregnancy frame or fit into all of those clothes. More difficult was trying to exercise with the already limited time I have with my baby pre and post work. While I was initially a little disappointed, later I resigned myself to the fact that I will not go down to an XS again and will have to settle for an M. But I was truly worried about what hubby would have to say. Cos the tummy flab shows....and how....Just last week, he saw me fretting over the fact that I was not getting enough time to exercise and sadly sorting out my (sexy) clothes (that would look ungainly with a flabby tummy) to give to my cousin! What he said, I will never forget. What started off as a general discussion led to something that made me fall in love with this man all over again. I felt I must share it with you guys.
Krithika....Get it straight! Your post-partum body is none of my business. You did not get pregnant on your own. I am equally responsible for the pregnancy, just that my body does not have any scars resulting from it. When we decided to have a baby, I expected you to carry my baby for 9 months, nourish him and nurture him inside you. It was a known fact that this process is going to drastically alter your body, affect your moods and cause indelible changes in your body. You have to eat right at that time and of course you will gain weight. The other terrifying symptoms of pregnancy you endured (kicking, nausea etc etc) - it is best we don't get into it. I wouldn't claim to understand it all but I know it has not exactly been pleasant for you. If you screaming at me then was your way of venting, so be it. I secretly loved waking up at 1 am in the morning and listening to your latest craving and somehow getting it for you. It was the least I could do for my wife and my child.
It is unfortunate you had to have an epistiomy during delivery. But it was again well known that if you did, the process to heal would be long and painful and sex will be the last thing on my mind right now. I understand it is not fun to be a continuous dairy dispenser to our baby. It has it's own share of problems and I admire you for sticking to it as long as you could.
Yes, your body changed after pregnancy but so what? You are still the same spitfire I fell for. And my body has changed as well. I have put on flab as well. When you are not judging me for it, why would I judge you for your flab? The very idea of that is rubbish! After all, we have a son, thanks to your body. Let me tell you here and now that I love your post-partum body. Nothing has changed. If it has, it only is that I love you even more now.
I also know that there are more important things than doing up your hair and waxing right now so who really cares if you are not looking your best when I come home at night? But do you know what I see? I see a tired, worn-out mother with a happy baby. That kind of happiness only comes from being well-cared for. You are a terrific mom and a terrific wife and you make my family complete. I couldn't love you more and he couldn't have asked for a better mom, so stop fretting!
I have no words to express what I felt after hearing this......and he gives me new reasons everyday to fall in love.....the best Valentine's day gift ever!!!