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The moment we become parents for the first time, the most obvious relationship that gets compromised is the one with our partner. Blame it on the post- par tum depression, weakness, lack of time, lack of sleep or any other factor, but the fact remains.
Three years back when I had my child, I had heard stories of women having gone through days without even combing their hair. So it just seemed obvious that none of them could get the time to even look at their partners lovingly, let alone cuddling or spending time together. I don’t blame new mothers, for theirs is probably the toughest job on the planet. As a mom I can say that every 5 minute nap one gets during the first few months seems nothing short of a blessing. A monotonous life grapples you. Feeding, burping, changing diapers, putting the baby to sleep, repeat. So rekindling the romance seems like the least important thing to do at that time. But I realised its importance when I started feeling the first signs of post- par tum depression.
I was at my doctor’s clinic for a regular post caesarean check-up. She asked me if there is any problem I have. I had to force my tears to stop rolling down while telling her that I have been feeling extremely low. She, being the quirky-witty-lovely woman, asked my husband to take me out for an ice-cream date after the check-up. And I'm glad we took her suggestion seriously. It felt like after ages I was looking at him, after ages we were smiling and talking to each other. That is when we decided that we need to do this often. So every week we made sure we go out on little strolls, dinner/movie dates or just a little drive, with our daughter and sometimes even without her. Sometimes I used to behave like an anxious mother, checking on time. Sometimes my husband would ask me to give calls back home to check on her. But gradually the guilt disappeared. We could sense that our daughter was also learning to be comfortable around other people. The constant random small fights that we were having, thanks to the forever tiredness, had reduced. We were feeling more appreciative of the efforts the other was putting into his or her responsibilities. And ever since, we have been able to portray an example of a happy couple in front our child, which we believe is very important for a child’s mental, physical and emotional health. Moreover it has helped us enjoy raising her together much more.