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We have been brought up with the universal lesson that every woman is a mother, daughter, wife, sister, daughter in – law, sister in law…the list is endless. Sadly, in that long list, the #WomanInMe takes the backburner.
But does it really have to be that way, do you really need to sacrifice your innermost desires for the betterment of everyone else; the answer to that is ‘It’s your choice’.
All women, whether working or stay at home, have an inbuilt capability to juggle an immense number of responsibilities. What makes things difficult for us is the guilt that follows every time we try to do something which is just for us. That meeting that made you stay till late, that mani-padi session, or in my case being glued to my laptop to write this article on my only weekly off; those pangs of guilt just kill the joy!
Even though I am no parenting expert, from my own little experiences, I listed 4 instances where we need to dump the guilt; or like Elsa says ’Let it go’.
1) Let go of the guilt of leaving your children in day care
An important observation which we all fail to make is that our child’s formative years (0-5) are also the most crucial years(25-35 in most cases) of our professional and personal lives.
So don’t give up on your career just because you have a child. You will be amazed at how well managed and professional day care facilities are.
Even if you decide that you want to be a stay at home mom, make sure you follow your passions. Don’t give up on your passion just because you can’t find time. It’s ok to leave your kids in someone else’s care while you pursue your dreams.
2) Let go of the guilt that mommy is responsible for everything
Most moms (including me) believe that they are responsible for everything that happens to their kids.
And honestly, that is the worst possible thing you can put yourself through. All mothers do their best when it comes to bringing up their children. So, don’t blame yourself if your child falls sick or doesn’t exactly shine at academics; it’s a part of growing up!
3) Let go of the need to know all the details about your children –
I am one person who suffered from major control issues when it comes to my little one. How much food she ate, how many water she drank, or even the size of her dump. Not only did that lead to major stress over petty issues, it cut into the time which could have been used for more productive activities.
Learn to take a backseat, at least sometimes. Learn to trust your spouse, child’s teachers and caregivers for watching over your child. You will feel much more relaxed and rejuvenated.
4) Let go of the expectation that ‘mommy will take care of it’
Share responsibilities with your spouse. Don’t let your child think that mom is responsible for everything. Not only will that give you a lot more time, it will teach your children the right values that both men and woman shoulder equal number of responsibilities.
So, sign up for that course you have been wanting to, explore new horizons and love yourself; a happy you will make a happy family too.