Love marriage is considered as a taboo in most part of our country. A person’s character, the family’s values, everything is put under the hammer coz of the type of marriage he or she decides on. Even the parents start questioning the kids on the values with which they have brought them up.
I question myself, really? How can a choice of marriage decide on the values that particular person is having? Many a times I hear a quote that says “It’s not ok to talk to a stranger, but it’s ok to sleep with one”. "You can piss in public but not kiss in public". I wonder why parents don’t consider that their kids are grown enough to take a decision on the person with whom he/she is going to live with for their entire life. I question myself many a times, do our parents own us? I understand that they go through lot of difficulties to bring us up, and to make sure that we have a good and comfortable life. I understand that they face lot of physical, mental and financial challenges to give us a good life and I thank each and every parent from the bottom of my heart for going through this pain just for their kid. Do parents consider us immature enough to not decide on our life partner? They don’t want their kid to get married to someone whom he/she knows well, but want to get married to someone about whom they have no idea. Many a times, i have seen people fighting for years to convince their parents on their choice of marriage. I am not a parent myself, but atleast I understand what a child is going through. a friend of mine considered committing suicide many a times because of the mental trauma he was going through. He who loved his parents so dearly, was made to feel very often that he is the bad son and his parents even cursed themselves for giving birth to him.
In a marriage, two people have to live with each other for 3 decades more or less, but they don’t have a choice on the person with whom they have to live with. I heard many parents argue that they want the happiness of their children, but it always comes in terms and conditions. First the parent has to be happy and only then they will allow their kid to be happy… this happens once the kid comes off to marriageable age and he/she decides to go for love marriage.
I heard once, my friend’s dad saying that if his son gets married to a particular girl he is in love with, he will be in big trouble and he is trying to save him from that. She belonged to a poor family, and hence his parents have decided that she wants to get married to their son so that she can acquire their property. And for the record, his parents have never met the girl and they have no clue about her or her family. And here they are, decided that their son is being trapped. Why don’t parents understand that it’s not them who are going to live with them forever, it’s their better half and for God’s sake, your child is matured now. It’s not a child marriage that he will get trapped. How is it guaranteed that in arranged marriage he/she won’t face any problem? It's time to be practical and they have to understand it’s not them who will be with their kid for their entire life. At the end of the day, he/she should learn to solve their problem. The extreme is honor killing. People kill their own kin just because he/she fell in love with another person from another caste or religion. Wow.. I can’t see somebody else’s kid crying, and here there are parents who even kill their kid coz of something like this.
Many a times I even hear from parents that, “this is all I get for raising my child and loving him so much and for all the sacrifices I have done. He has no respect for his parents. The girl he met few years ago is so important for him.” Well, my dear parents, if he has no respect, then he wouldn’t have been with you for so long and he wouldn’t be waiting for your yes. He would have got married to her and would have left you by now. My dear parents love your kids without any terms and conditions. I hope you have not given birth to your kid expecting that one day he/she will return the favor. Your kids are grateful for giving them life and giving them ability to be whatever they are today, but please don’t make them feel that you have done a favor by giving birth to them and giving them good life. You are a good parent and hence you gave them good life. Its better if it stops at that.
One promise I have made to my future kid even before marriage.. I will stand by him/her in all their decision. I will love my kid unconditionally, and I want him/her to be happy. I will give birth to a kid coz he/she is the symbol of our love. I read an article that said, “my dear son, you will not be my budhape ki laathi” and I was happy to see that this lady's son is lucky as he will have a choice in future. My dear parents, dont treat your kids as budhape ki lathi, they are individuals with heart and brain. Let them live their life as you have lived yours.