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These new mom tips are meant as much for people around mothers-to-be, as for the mom herself. Be kind!
In most cultures, women have been treated as people whose sole purpose on this planet was to take care of the household and produce children to take the name of the father ahead. Times have changed, women have stepped out. They’ve made a mark for themselves and proved that women are capable of much more than washing dishes, putting up a decent meal and giving birth.
Yet, when it comes to motherhood, we still believe that it all comes ‘easy’ to women. How I wish I had been given a more real picture of what childbirth and the post partum experience is like. Rather, most of us create an illusion of what life post pregnancy will be like. We tell the expecting mom how much she will glow after her delivery. How she will fall in love with her baby. Fair enough, but do we need to make it all so rosy?
The kind of love and compassion a woman needs post baby are not given much importance too. She is fussed over during pregnancy but invariably takes a back seat in everyone’s life once the child arrives! I’m giving these new mom tips to mothers-to-be therefore, with much love and support. I can promise you the journey won’t be easy, but nonetheless, it will be a memorable time for you to look back on!
New mom tips that make a world of difference
1.You might not fall in love with your child immediately. I didn’t. The pain of stitches just couldn’t let me think. My sanity went for a toss. Love grows. The bond strengthens. Relax. It will not make you any less of a mother.
2.Post-partum, you will bleed, and possibly, bleed quite heavily. Be prepared mentally, and practically, with special post maternity panties that help you prevent staining and keep you comfortable. (A friend suggested this one to me, and I recommended every mother should order this way before her delivery!)
3.Milk is usually a matter of demand and supply. The more your baby demands, the more you will supply. However, leaking is not a parameter for how great your feed supply is, nor is the quantity of milk a reflection on you. (And yes, leaking can be uncomfortable leak proof bra's are a godsend!) You are a new mom, not mother diary. Your nipples might turn sore. It will be painful. Hold on. This too shall pass. Don’t succumb to the pressure of ‘ex’perienced women around. Each mother is different and so is each child.
4.Your health matters the most. Only a healthy mother can raise a healthy child. A mother is like a factory for many. Child produced, factory forgotten! It does not matter whether the delivery was normal or caesarean – a child has been produced. Your body created this little person. So eat your food on time and make sure it is rich in all essential nutrients.
5.Turn a deaf ear towards all the critical analysis of you as a mother. You will learn. Everyone does with time. Criticism and comparison is something that will happen inevitably. Your hormones and body postpartum too will sensitive to any remarks. Have a confidante, share your heart out. Please don’t suffer.
6.Your body will take time to get back to what it used to be. And in some cases it might never come back to what it was. Learn to love yourself. Be kind towards your true self. Charity begins at home. By being ashamed of your body you are the only one who will suffer. Traditionally, women in India used to bind their abdomen after birth, and today, there are easier options around in the form of post delivery panties that help support the stomach. Take care of your body in a manner that feels comfortable to you. It is not an easy task to raise a baby. The first few months are are uphill task. Stay prepared. Self criticism at this stage is most dampening.
Being a new mom is not easy. It never was. Only love and support from all around helps a person sail through.
Best of luck for this voyage. And remember self-love is the best love!