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For as long as I have fantasized getting married and having kids of my own; one thing has always been constant. I had and will always stand by the statement made that I will NEVER EVER hit my kid(s). Now, I have a 7.5 year old daughter and I can truly count on my finger tips, the occasions that I have even raised my finger on her. I have always believed that it is very damaging to the child’s psyche and confidence to be spanked.
The parent is physically stronger and elder in age and thus is able to exercise control over the child. Hitting the child is a way of projecting to the child that I am the supreme authority out here and in case you do not act per my liking; you will be punished. The reason for this is that I am bigger than you. Though the child being hit resents this; he/she is sure to use the same tactic with someone smaller, weaker and meeker.
This builds a lot of bitterness in the child towards the parent. The child knows that he/she cannot approach the parent in case they have done something wrong as the parent is going to welcome them with slaps. There is a high wall that is built and the child starts hiding all those things from the parent(s) where he/she knows there will be objections. Out of fear, these very young and not very mature children take matters in their own hands and further complicate them.
It is also very humiliating for the child to be constantly hit by the parent. The child feels devalued and knows that the parent is resorting to hitting to cause him/her pain- both physical discomfort and mental agony.
All parents who justify their actions that they are punishing their children only for their good are absolutely wrong. This act of theirs is making their children defiant and the child knows the worst case scenario. They already know that the most appalling outcome of their not obeying their parents will be met with a thrashing and they are prepared for the worst.
This might look like a very philosophical post to many; but let me assure that though I do NOT hit my daughter Shivani; I yell loud enough to break the roof. That too is not at all right and though try as much as I may; I am unable to fix my impatience problem.