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Our children are handed to us as tiny little cute bundles looking so innocent and delicate. We love to do everything for them and become so busy with them that we just don’t know when the time flies by and our kids start growing up. Our love of doing everything for them becomes a habit both for us and for our kids.
When the kids grow up, they often refuse to do the things on their own which they are capable of doing. It is important to raise them in a way where they become self-sufficient and self-reliant. It is important for us to understand that one day, our little nestlings will be leaving our nest to fly in the sky.
It requires a lot of patience, love and understanding to raise independent kids. They will throw tantrums, there will be power struggles, a lot of mess but in the end it’s all worth it.
So, how can we do it?
Here are five simple steps to make them independent:
1. Let them fail and learn
Let the children try to do their things on their own. They will stumble, they will fall. They might do it all wrong but it’s okay. We, mothers, often jump up when our kids are making a mistake while doing something on their own. It’s okay. Let them. Hold yourself back. For example, while getting water for themselves, they might spill it. The spilled water can be mopped but once you stop them, chances are they will never try it again.
2. Don’t let them get disheartened
Even if they are unable to do something on their own, it’s okay. Appreciate their efforts and encourage them to do it again. Don’t point out that they could not do it instead highlight the fact that they tried.
3. Help them when they face a problem
When they get stuck in the middle of the task they were doing, help them. Once, twice may be many times. But limit yourself till the point where they are facing problem. Once their problem is resolved, let them do it themselves.
4. Make things simplified
If we want our kids to learn to be independent, we have to create an atmosphere where they can do things on their own. For example, if we want them to dress up on their own, then we must keep their cupboards organised in a way which they can operate easily. The clothes should be within their reach and kept systematically for the little hands to pick.
5. Role modelling
Children learn by imitating and watching. Try to role model every activity for them in order to enable them to learn. For example, while brushing their teeth allow them to watch you and brush their teeth while standing next to you. They will learn by watching you do it.
Hope these tips work for you. Do write to me how you are teaching your kids to become independent. I would love to hear your stories.