I am not ready to accept you are a big girl
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|   Mar 06, 2016
I am not ready to accept you are a big girl

When I go to the play park with my daughter, I always hear parents of little kids saying, when will kids grow up so we can have our own time and don’t have to constantly watch them over. Though I am also one amongst those. But when I actually think about it, I ask myself -  Am I really tired of watching over her? And my answer is a big “NO”.

 

I LOVE doing it.

 

Just a few days back my daughter insisted that she is a big girl now and can go to her friend’s house on her own. And yes, she is right, we have to start doing it one day and probably the time has come. So, I agreed, and we decided that she will take the staircase for her maiden journey and not the elevator.


I stood near the steps, waving her bye (as if she is on a mission to conquer something, but it was actually no less than that for both of us :-) .Her safety and security were definitely a huge concern for me. But then there was something else which made me go freeze at that very moment. Overpowered by all the motherly emotions, as I watch her go, I felt as if a part of me has left me behind, all alone.  I felt empty.


And thus, I want to tell you today, my sweetie, that -


I love when spotting a stranger you run towards me and hold me tight.

I love when you jump on to me from your school bus, on those few days when I come to pick you up.


I love when you make me your partner for the small pranks that you play on Papa.

I love when you try to keep a brave face after a nasty fall in the play area and burst into tears the moment you spot me.

I love when on some days you insist on being carried while going home after a tiring day.

I love, how you used your newly learnt word – “Mumma, I love you till the infinity”. 

 

This list is endless (infinite in your words :-)). 


In short, I love the attention I get when you constantly seek my attention and I am not ready to let it go. Nobody has ever made me feel so important as much as you do. Nobody has ever made me feel so wanted as much as you do. You belong to me and I am not ready to share you with the world.

 

I have told you umpteen times – “Please don’t grow up”. How much I wish that the time could freeze.


But, you will grow up, so grow up to be a good human being.


I promise, I will never stop watching over you (whether you like it or not :-) ) . My attention towards you will never diminish and I would love to get your attention in return.


I wait for the day, when you read this, come back and give me an assuring silent hug.

 

 

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