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We understand our own strengths and fears much better when we become Parents. Before marriage or before becoming a mother, we can never even imagine that we have the capability of doing most of the things that our Moms do.
Some of my STRENGTHS I never knew:
Holding a baby: I never knew I can hold a baby in my arms safely when she is just few hours old. I always denied to hold any small kid in my arms even if the kid was more than six months thinking that I might drop them. But when it was about my own baby, I had to hold her and I did it perfectly.
Cooking: I was not a person who loved to cook before our wedding. I didn’t even know how to cook despite living alone for about four years for my post-graduation and then job. We always ordered and had our food. Else, Maggi helped. It was not like I didn’t know cooking but I was lazy to the extent that I never cooked. But, you ask me today. I am a mother of a daughter who loves to eat small portions but a variety of food items in a single day. Trust me, I feel good when she finishes her bowl and most importantly, when I tried cooking something new and she loved it.
Timings: I was a person who used to get up just half an hour before office timing, get ready and reach just on time and have breakfast in the canteen. No plans, no time management. I never thought that I would be able to get up two hours before my daughter’s school time so that I can finish some of my house chores, get her ready, pack her bag, tiffin and drop her to school before her school bell rings.
Strong even when I am sick: I am so strong internally that I can hold my daughter in my arms and do all her work even when I am not well. I am sure I would lying on the bed not moving a bit, if I was just a child not a mother.
Catching mouse/ cockroaches: No matter how loud I used to scream seeing a mouse or a cockroach in the house, today I can even take them in my hand and throw them out so that she doesn’t get afraid of anything.
However, I never thought that I would be FEARful of:
Schools and classes: Who thought the checklist for your baby’s school or extra classes would include CCTV cameras? I never thought safety would be one of the criteria's for selecting or rejecting any school for her. I really fear enrolling her to any class if there is no security or a lady teacher or proper registration.
Unknown People: I won’t say I have a fear of only unknown people in my life or my daughter’s life, I even fear the known ones. It is so hard to trust anyone today to the extent that we think of the negatives before thinking positive about anyone. I fear kidnapping, robbing or anything worse.
I fear losing her love for me in the near future or her teenage as many kids do now. I fear her loving and marrying somebody we don’t like. I fear her choosing the wrong path in her studies or career. I fear losing any control on her. And I really fear what if I fail as a mother and goof up everything.