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It was our love marriage and Pranavi was born from us - (Pra)chi and (Navee)n after about 4 years of togetherness plus two and a half years of marriage. We knew each other so well that disagreements did not have any space. Hahaha… It HAD. It HAS. It’LL HAVE always on almost everything related to our daughter.
Its not like we have different decisions for her. Somehow, we end up with the same solution or decision for her but with different perspectives and different priorities. Even if we talk about studies regarding this, The fact is mothers and fathers tend to have more similarities than differences when it comes to parenting their children.
One good thing that we agreed upon in very early stage of parenthood was that if one parent disciplines the kids, the other parent must back him/ her up, even if you do not agree. If you don’t do this, it will show your child that his parents are not a unified team and wont take it seriously for the next time too.
Our daughter is going to be 3 years old soon, but I can recollect many memories where our decisions were almost similar to each other with different priorities. Some of the latest that I can share:
While deciding on pre-school, my focus as a mother was on school’s atmosphere, teacher’s friendly nature and then studies. However, he as a father was more concerned about the CCTV installation in the school, cab driver and helper’s verification and school’s medical facilities in case of emergency. Of course, we both are happy with the decision we made but with different perspectives.
While getting any gift for her, I think if the things which I anyways have to buy for her that her age kids have, but Papa always wants her to go the other way round. He will buy what he thinks is good for her. Its good in one way but extra toys and gifts for her as well. Moreover, fathers don’t think that if a game has more parts to play, it will tend to lose more parts… they can never understand because its only the mothers who take care of the chores that kids create with the huge parts of the games. When she plays with blocks, even if one piece gets misplaced, I don’t mind. Now, if he buys her a puzzle game, even if she loses one part, the game is over.
When its spending quality time with her, I am all busy with the set routine of waking her up, breakfast, tiffin, school, lunch, nap time, milk time, home-work, playtime or TV cartoons, park time, snacks, dinner and bedtime. I agree its too boring routine as its all fixed. However, after her Papa comes back from work, he has tea and then has full time to devote to her while I am all busy with the dinner preperations etc. They have their carom board games or volleyball whatever she wants and then they dance to the music channels on TV while I feed her her dinner. :)
Still, we both are always together, happy, proud seeing her growing to a lovely girl, however with totally different perspectives.
It is the combination of involved mothers and fathers and their unique styles that make the biggest difference for children and their future health and happiness.
Whatever way, whatever parenting style we both select for her, We wish her all the success and happiness in life!!! God bless everyone…