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As a parent we wish for nothing but the best for our children.We may go to any extent to ensure that.But we forget about genetics and the nature vs. nurture theory.
I also take great pride in saying that my son's outer beauty is like the father and inner beauty is like me.
There are some traits that we just cannot help but inherit while there are some that we develop because of the environment around us and that shapes the entire personality.
For Eg.I have had really bad food habits as a child inspite of my mother eating almost all the 'ghaas phoos' available in the world and my dad eating anything and everything that creeps and crawls.I would eat only Potatoes and brinjal with loads of pickle till I got married besides my daily dose of junk food and I never touched non veg.After marriage my food habits changed for the better.I am ensuring every bit that my sons do not inherit this bad habit and fortunately, so far, they are into healthy eating.I did not want anybody to point a finger at me and say that their bad habits are just like the mum.There is an endless list of so called bad habits that I do not wish my boys to inherit...both from the paternal and maternal side....but nature and nurture are already on the job to ensure that all this is just idealistic!
Likewise,my husband has the most amazing handwriting,that is only when he signs,otherwise only the chemist is able to decipher it.I enrolled my son for handwriting classes to curb this issue in him.After some days of writing beautifully,his handwriting is again back to a doctor's handwriting.The teacher said genetics plays a role in this too.So now it is o.k with me that his handwriting is just about legible and I do not fret about it much as anyway he would require it just to sign since most things are digital now.
However what is hurtful about this is,that ,even if a child inherits the dad's bad traits,it is a matter of great pride to proclaim"Bilkul apne papa pe gaya hai".But if a bad trait is inherited from the mom's side,it is considered the worst thing, to pass on to your child...just like passing on the AIDS virus.Such double standards stand to benefit none,especially the child in question.However hard we try,the child is bound to genetically inherit the parents' good as well as bad traits...and parents means mum as well as the dad.
We as parents can only ensure to give them the best of both worlds and not look for an ideal child who has no negative traits.These not so normal traits is what makes their individual personalities stand out.
Also,who decides what is good or what is bad?I may want my son to not go and hit back the bully thus teaching him to be tolerant whereas somebody may want their child to go give it back to the bully and be strong and aggressive.So who decides,who amongst us is good or bad?It all boils down to the Nature Vs Nurture conflict!
We all belong to different schools of parenting with the only aim to make our children good humans first!
In the end it all boils down to "To each her own".
Ladies,I really wish to know what is it that your child has inherited from you and from the dad and how well/bad it has gone down with your family and Char Log.(Theme for my next blog..wink)