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"Kitni kamzor hai ye, kuch khati nahi hai kya?", "Isko dekh kitni mast khate pite ghar ki lagti hai, moti ho ja thodi toh kam se kam thodi thik dikhegi", I have heard such things all my life. I can pen down at least fifty dialogues that I have heard time and again for being a thin and skinny girl. We have such high standards of beauty that anything more or less is not accepted as beautiful.
I accepted the fact as a child that I am not beautiful and inferiority complex made its place in my mind. From being the fastest speaker with a clear diction in class i became a timid girl who stammers. Body shaming was not enough that a new stammering problem made me a joke among classmates. Elders body shamed me and children made fun of my way of speaking. A child's mind and heart was taking a lot of rejection from the society.
This term "body shaming" wasn't there at that time and nobody actually cared about such thing, so when I told my mom that I don't like when those relatives and aunties-uncles called me 'sukdi' (thin) all the time, she told me that I should not mind such stuff and they care for me so they say this. Nobody understood what I went through. I was scolded for stammering in school and at home. It only increased. Because of it I stopped talking to people much and from a skinny girl I became a 'silent skinny girl'.My father found it so embarrassing sometimes when his friends' kids spoke wonderfully among so many people and I wasn't even able to reply properly when asked something. My father is an amazing speaker and wanted me to be one, but I couldn't. I felt so inferior among those kids as they looked good and spoke beautifully. I remember once when I was around 8 I cried after coming back home from a party as I felt guilty for making my dad embarrassed.
I grew up a little but nothing changed. Then there were classmates in school who called me names and had to listen to a lot of things for being thin. Though they spoke all that jokingly but I was constantly being reminded that I don't fit among them in looks. I actually tried finding out how to gain weight artificially (also thought of using those weight gain powders), but my mom convinced me not to (I thank her for that). I never gained weight as I had a very high metabolism rate and I was very active in all physical activities(where I didn't have to speak). That is how my body naturally was.
When I was in college I started reading a lot of self-help books and they really made me know my worth. I practiced accepting myself and self confidence started growing. Even though I was scared inside to speak among a crowd, I practiced not to show it, as they say "Fake it till you Make it". When I started loving myself, people around me started loving me. It felt much much better. I actually stood in front of the mirror and practiced speaking and also told myself after every session "I love you. You are beyond you face, you are beautiful at heart and it matters the most to me".
I still stammered in some of my interviews during college placements but didn't get nervous and that confidence gave me a better job than most of my colleagues. Stammering was not a flaw but it was a habit that was born because of what I was made to believe was a flaw. But it reduced tremendously with practice and willpower. Being thin didn't matter at all to me, I felt comfortable in my own skin.
I would request parents to accept your child as he/she is and make them learn to accept themselves in all circumstances. Also please don't comment on anyone else's looks be it fat, thin, tall, short, hairy,etc, and that is how you can teach your kids by being an example. I really want no kid to go through this trauma. I could handle myself at a certain age but every child might not do it and you will be ruining a life by "just commenting" on someone. Every child is beautiful and let their childhood be spent with all innocence intact.
When they will believe in themselves, the world will believe in them. Our differences make us beautiful.
Once an acquaintance said this to me around 8 years back "Never lose a chance to complement someone, be it the smallest thing you like about them. It is just a complement from you but it can make someone's bad day and it might make someone believe in themselves".
Please go through the article for what you can you do to help our child get rid of stammering- http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/new-identity-for-life/article/heres-what-to-do-if-your-child-stammersstutters