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To be a mother is difficult. To be a working mother, a bit more difficult. To be a working mother in an IT company, even more. And that comes solely from my experience since my job doesn’t end once I am back to home from the office. There are client calls. I am sure there are other professions too which are more taxing than IT companies.
And I have realized the hard part recently when my infant has transformed into a toddler who wants my complete attention and if not given, she does anything possible to get it – be it shouting at top of her voice, throwing things, hitting me and my laptop and what not. Now that she has started her full-time school, that aggressiveness has only increased, since she gets to see me for only couple of hours before she is tucked back into the bed early for her to wake up early the next morning. And when I am around, she refuses to leave me or even let me get off her sight even when she has her father and grandparents around.
Only recently, when we were in a restaurant, she insisted on me doing something and I casually exclaimed, ‘why me, why not papa?’ But then it struck me and my husband. Of 100s of stories which our daughter has read (I mean, we have recited to her), how many have shown a child-father relationship? It’s always the mom around the child, barring a couple of them. In a book of 8 stories, in one story only the father makes a guest appearance. And we complain that fathers don’t take active participation in raising the child. Why should they? They don’t even get stories written about their relationship with the child.
To get a story in their name is not the only motivation. But new age fathers are much more involved with their kids, yet our stories glorify only mothers. Is this not the gender bias ness here? No wonder, kids are imbibed with this idea that you fall, look up to your moms; you need to be taught lessons of life, mom will teach you; it’s your birthday, mom will make the arrangements and entertain your friends…
No argument here of who does more work for the child. But high time that our stories are updated and rewritten to include fathers as well. Kids are highly influenced by the stories which they read. So, why not let a Father Bear arrange for a birthday party for the Baby Bear? Why not a Father Bunny take the Baby Bunny out for a walk to the park till ocean? Why not a Father Wolf tuck the Baby Wolf in the bed?
I really like Peppa Pig series where the complete family is engaged, including Daddy Pig. All the Children Books story writers out there, please bring in Papa in your new stories!!!