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A beautiful day and a lovely morning and few beautiful messages. A usual happy day. A message on my Whatsapp … just a non offensive joke on…. yes…Woman.
It started a light conversation and suddenly things started heating up with allegation not personal but general that woman don’t understand men and want to separate them from their families too!
The discussion went spiral and a bit ugly too. I was a culprit of starting it although on a lighter note. It made my day , a bit negative as thoughts are food for my soul and today the first bite was bitter.
Since ages we have been calling women as house breakers , son snatchers and with many more adjectives. At the same time we gloomily discuss dowry and in a hush hush tone sometimes discuss home violence too. But woman who want a separate home and , those who don’t allow their partner to be good son are always highlight of the discussion , whether a social gathering or a family get together.
We love to gossip , about the woman who wants to break home !! In laws are looked upon with pity and husband who is being kept away from his duties is seen as sufferer.
How can a woman think like this ? How can she not like her In-laws ? How can she not be submissive? How she can not be adjustable ? How….how… and How……?
Have we ever thought , how a girl suddenly turns into a woman ?
How a girl , who has been given bed tea , tries to cook with all effort ?
How a girl who loves to wear her shorts and tees juggles with Indian wear ?
How a girl who is being appreciated by all , suddenly comes under verbal attack ,takes everything silently?
How a girl who is a free bird , looks for permission even to see her parents ?
How a girl listens , to all the allegation for her beloved father for not giving enough gifts. As no one asks dowry , but expects gifts atleast !!
How a girl in nurtured with love ,some times in worst condition faces home violence too?
There are many How’s to be answered , and yes the other face of the coin is equally tarnished .
How do girls think that the man of their dream is their’s only ? He has been someone dream even before he was born .
How do girls think that the man should not take care of his parents ? They have been the reason for making him her dream man.
How do girls think that life is going to be a movie like story ? It is life with ups and downs…be ready for it before taking a plunge.
How do girls not take a restriction or scolding by in-laws just as it was by their parents. They also need to be understood , it was their home, which they are gladly handing over to you.
How do girls not understand the silence of the partner , when he is appreciating and when he is disapproving. Learn to decode the silence dear.
How do girls think of using , laws for protecting them against worst situation , as a weapon to get their unreasonable demands met?
Again so many How’s…..
It is a never ending topic with lot of how’s …if’s and but’s and circumstances , but one thing is very clear that this can’t be generalized .The feelings are individualistic.
They neither depend on ….love marriage or arranged marriage.
They neither depend on ….being working or non working .
They neither depend on ….highly educated or not so educated.
They neither depend on ….being rich or poor .
They neither depend on ….caste , creed , religion or state .
Upto a certain extent it does depend on upbringing and the warmth of the bond between two individuals. Sometimes love makes you do things. It is high time now that we stop blaming woman or man in general and try to bring a general change in attitude of society.
Make the man understand , she is not your responsibility…. she is your partner…. in every sense .Love her , respect her , understand her……support her.
Make the woman understand , to not take any preemption s againt In-laws house. Its her home…her family…. her love and her responsibilities too.
Make both man woman understand…. life is beyond …. your mom and my mom !!
Make the elders of both family , understand…. except both with open arms and mindset. It takes time to adjust , even after transfers too…this is a life changing experience . Give space to the couple…to understand each other and their families. He or she is sharing your love not snatching .They are in your home , but give them liberty to make it their home too.
Change in food….change in clothing…..change in furnishing……is acceptable…. but change in family and change in relations change in feelings is hard to accept. Lets open arms … hearts and minds too and let some wind of pleasant change blow!!!