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Daughters of my three friends, cleared Xth board exams this year. All did very well and came out with flying colours, but the response from each mother was very different. It made me think, what's right. In a way all were right at their stand.
1st mom's daughter topped the school and she was very happy. But she was not at all surprised with the result. According to her, her daughter had been hardworking since childhood and for Xth also she did her best and the parents gave full support. So it was expected.
2nd mom was also very happy. She said that her daughter made her whole family proud by securing highest percentage in the family till date and it was celebration time for them.
3rd mom was happy but had a complaint that she could have done better. The girl used to play basket ball in the days between exams. In our times 75% was very good and here kids are bringing above 90%, still parent saying "she could have done better".
I know that its not possible not to have expectations. But to appreciate and to accept is a big thing for many of us.
6 years back, when I was handed over the paper of my son's diagnosis, I was not ready to accept it. It was "May be borderline autistic", but that too was like a tight slap for us. After a week of weeping continuously and googling about it, we accepted the fact, and that helped us. Today I realize that the acceptance was the important factor which helped us to face the situation and work to make it better.
The director ma'am of my son's school, always enquires about my son's progress. One day during such a chat, she shared something with me, which I will always remember . She said that her son had learning issues during his childhood. He was very good in Maths, but other subjects were very difficult for him. He was always second or third from the last, in class ranking. Even after being a son of highly qualified parents, studies were a burden for him.
He was in his 2nd std and on his mom's birthday he presented her a card. As he was very good in drawing, he had made the card himself. The drawing was of a Tiger chasing a deer. As he drew the Tiger and there has to be distance between the two, there was no space left for him to draw a deer. So he had drawn just the hind legs and the head of the deer turned back looking at the tiger, and the drawing looked complete. Ma'am told me that, that card gave her the confidence about her son's capabilities. She encouraged him to do what he liked. And he was always allowed to do what he wanted. He completed his studies with top ranking and is a successful entrepreneur today.
In the month of february, he gave a session of motivational talk to the Xth std students in our school. My curiosity made me sit and watch that 45 minutes video on youtube. In that talk he tells that, he had got a certificate of Dyslexia and from that day, his grades went down more than before. And he had an excuse for that -"Dyslexia". He could have buried himself under this label, but there was his mother. She believed in her son's capabilities, rather than the grades he got from the subjects taught in school. For that little boy, his mom was the light at the end of the dark tunnel.
The light which believed in his strengths,
the light which guided him through life's tough situation,
the light which assured him that he is being appreciated for his qualities,
the light which showed him the path to pursue his dreams
the light which supported him to reach his potential.
She is an inspiration and I will be more happy, if I could be a mom like her. My life's goal is to be that light for my son and hope that all mothers tries to understand their kids and supports them to build their future as per their likes and capacities.