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I held his hand softly and looked at him. He still had tears in his eyes but a bright smile was emerging. I ran my fingers through his hair, smiled & said " Come baby.. let's go". We walked to the rainbow bridge kept in the centre of the ground. I heard the announcement " Here comes TanmayDev with his mom ". He climbed the first step & his face brightened up with that sunshine smile !! 1,2,3 .. he climbed the steps and walked on the bridge & I walked by the side. Once he reached the other end, he stopped for a moment to look at other parents sitting around, smiled & walked down the steps. I held his hands again & gave him a tight hug, proudly smiling wide . We DID IT. Now he is in grade 1.
It was my son's graduation ceremony. When I reached school, I was called to his classroom. He was crying loud & his teacher was trying to calm him down. but he was pulling the cloak off his shoulders. As a part of graduation ceremony, all kids were made to wear pearl bracelets, crown & cloak made of golden silky cloth. I forgot to inform the teacher that my son doesn't like to wear any extra clothing or anything tight. I removed all the accessories & made him sit on my lap. Luckily his name was second last in the list. He calmed down in sometime, but clung to me. I made a loose knot on the cloak's straps & gave it to his teacher. When his turn came, I told the teacher who was taking all kids to the bridge, that I would love to go with him. As soon as we stepped on to the ground, from behind his teacher put the cloak on his shoulders. We looked at each other & walked....
Now when I sit & think about it, I realise that for that short period of time, even after being in front of more than 100 people, I didn't see anyone. For me there was only the rainbow bridge & me with my son. I have learn't this trick of closing the windows of my mind which makes me conscious of people around. I see with my heart & so I am able to do what my heart tells me to do.
I had mentioned in my earlier post, Now I play with kids on swings & slides. Last week we went for a party, where I participated in musical chair ( I won :) ;) , I danced & I played with kids. We all have a small child inside us somewhere. But we stop ourselves (mostly ladies) from enjoying, as we think " what will people think about me". Try to do this trick & see how happy you feel. If you are happy, your family will be happy.
Life is too short, enjoy every moment. Enjoy motherhood ! Stay happy, stay healthy.