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As I was pushed from womb to life,
Wailing as I moved from darkness to light
A mere babe,
Slowly, the light and darkness danced,
I imbibed all that the world sang,
Songs of love of a mom,
Hopes of being a like-a-son,
That left my grandparents red-faced
As it did me, on seeing my menstrual stains.
The joys of crushes
Bawdy jokes to be enjoyed without
The immodest Laugh-out-Loud
Years, months and days
Hoping the scars on my face
Days, months and years
As I moved away from home
To face my worst fears
To be the woman
That I was made by women
Moving from conical cup bras
To soft lacy ones
From thongs to hipsters
Be practical for once!
I need a coach to tell me to exercise my power at work,
Yet I am stern and strict with my daughter for her own good
I transform to putty in love and lust
And have love-hate relationship with food.
I am still in awe of a friend
Who had an abortion ages ago
Proud of another going back to school
With two kids in tow
Sometimes as shocked as a coworker molested
Sometimes outraged as another whose promotion was tested
Sometimes celebrating like a cousin with giggles all around
Sometimes mature with wisdom as behooves a sadness profound
Awkward and self-conscious like my grandma
Yet strong and defiant like my mom.
Self-pitying like an aunt another
Yet fiercely protective of my sister and brother
Angry as the woman raped
Happy as the one with each small victory
Driving like a human should
I am a product of feminism’s history.
“You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are” – Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth.
There is not a single woman in me, but a number of women in me, as I am in them.
I have given up on defining myself – to myself and others.
I can be a nurturer, critic, supporter, competitor and pretty much anything that my myriad life demands. While there are nine basic “roops” of “Durga”; women have, over the ages, worn far more hats than the powerful deity.
Wherever, there is sad story, there is an inspirational one as well.
Between Nirbhaya and Malala, the #WomanInMe knows that while the woods are lovely, dark, and deep…She has promises to keep to womanhood, and miles to go before getting any sleep.