A MOTHER'S HONEST CONFESSION TO HER CHILD...
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|   May 23, 2016
A MOTHER'S HONEST CONFESSION TO HER CHILD...

My dear child,

It has been an amazing journey with you so far. The one with more questions than answers, far more choices than decisions to be made, plenty of self doubts and confusions, and battles of contradictory opinions and suggestions. But every time you have somehow given me the strength to make the right choices, clarity to make correct decisions and courage to standby my beliefs when there is a need.

It began even before you were born, when I was told what to do and what not to do, what to eat and what not to eat, how to sit, how not to stand and a million other things. What I didn't know was that they were preparing me to develop this virtue called patience, which I would require in plenty once you came to this world. What they failed to realize was that you were a part of me, and nature was preparing me to nurture and care for you, even when you were physically no more a part of body, because you would be an every way a part of my heart, soul and spirit.

When you arrived into this world, just weighing a few pounds, you tugged at my heartstrings so heavily, that I was overwhelmed by emotions. I slowly learnt little things- how to hold you, carry you, feed you and bathe you; You also taught me big things- how to overcome sleep, pain and discomfort, my first few lessons in learning to put your needs always ahead of mine.. 

My mind was full of questions.... Why would you cry? Was I feeding you too much or too little? When to put you to sleep? Were you feeling warm or cold in the clothes I put on you? I did not have answers most of the time, but I often heard a voice within me which helped me decide. A voice that always had your best interests in the focus. As I held your hand and taught you to walk, you held my spirit and taught me to carry on, in most difficult and trying times. You crawled, ran and jumped all over the place and I marvelled at your limitless energy. Being with you was a lesson in discovering the exuberance and vitality in everything around. When you created a glorious mess, I learnt to rediscover the child within me and let go of the adult abiding by rules and restrictions.  You spun vivid stories from your budding imagination and held captive by it, I often forgot the harsh realities of life. Playing with you was reliving my lost childhood.... 

It was not always an easy journey but an extremely satisfying one. There were times when I sincerely wished God had endowed mothers like me with superhuman qualities like ten hands to do crazy multitasking, feet with wheels to keep up with your speed, and a magic chant that would keep the tantrums at bay. I also wished for some miraculous machine that would help you in hopping from school to park to your various classes, cook you the food of your choice, feed you, help you with your homework and exam preparation, play with you and put you to sleep. Alas fate was not that generous and I had to do these tasks often all by myself, wondering at my capabilities as an ordinary human being. Looking back I realize that it was a test, and taking care of you just stretched my limitations and opened a new world of possibilities within me which I never knew.

As you grew out your cocoon developing your own personality, I struggled to understand and come in terms with your likes and dislikes, your choices. Ego battles ensued, in everything from  your choice of dressing and food, to your choice of friends and entertainment. But in the pretext of guiding you, I learnt an important lesson- that of preaching only what I practice. The rough edges of my behavior often got smoothed in the act of disciplining you. You held a mirror to  my personality and taught me an important lesson- to forgive your mistakes and flaws just like you forgave mine. I realized that in life when no one in perfect, it is very selfish of me to expect perfection from you at every step. You helped me to see that when things were bound to go out of one's control then it was always easier and simpler to let go...

Now I truly understand the saying- "Child is the father of Man". I admit happily that being your mother, I have also become your child in many ways. Because you have taught me more lessons than anyone else or anything else in my life. Going ahead as I grow older and you grow wiser I can see this journey taking us through a lot of ups and downs. There will be times when we will agree to disagree, when our paths will not cross, when we will cling to our prejudices... but there will also be times when we will understand and protect and care for each other like no one else will...

I cherish every moment of this great journey with you and look forward to many more glorious years of the same, with you by my side.  Because God has blessed me and sent you in my life my child, so that I can look at you and discover his beautiful creation; because you make my world come alive for me, every single day.... 

Because #EveryDayIsMothersDay( Note: This is my contest entry)

With Love, 

Your Mother

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