Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
Whilst feeding her 2 year old son Neel, Tanvi recalled her chat with her best friend Uma in the afternoon. Tanvi and Uma were best friends from school days and were still in touch with each other. Uma would call her regularly without fail and they would usually catch up with the events in each other's lives. Tanvi always felt refreshed after such chats.
Uma and two of her other school friends often met up for lunch during weekends and they would always invite Tanvi to join them. But Tanvi would make up some excuse each time.
It’s not that Tanvi did not want to meet them. But the thought of leaving Neel at home would make her jittery as she has never done that before.
But today Uma had surprised her by arriving unannounced.
“What happened Uma. You did not inform me that you were coming? she asked. “
“Well, I had great news to share so thought of coming personally” she quipped.
“What is it?” Tanvi was intrigued.
“You will not believe this. Our school is organizing an alumni meet for our batch next week. And the event is taking place right here in our city. Isn’t that amazing?” she announced.
Tanvi jumped with delight and hugged Uma. But she instantly became quiet and sulked.
“What happened Tanvi?” Uma questioned.
“I can’t come leaving Neel at home” she muttered unhappily.
“But the event is on a weekend and it’s only for 2 hours. Rajat can take care of Neel.” Uma stated.
“Uma, you know very well that he has never taken care of Neel on his own. I guess I will have to skip this event” Tanvi declared with a broken heart.
“ This is too much Tanvi. You have never stepped out of this house after Neel’s birth. I know you love him. But you need to get out and breathe some fresh air. Rajat is his father and Neel will be safe with him. And moreover there is always a first time. Rajat will get time to bond with him as well. And you will feel wonderful meeting your old friends. Won’t you? No excuses this time. You are coming and that is final. Promise me that you will speak to Rajat today itself” Uma remarked. Uma had left after that.
Now as she sat with her son she reminisced about the good old school days. It made her totally nostalgic and for a moment she regretted putting off Uma and turning down the invite.
During dinner that night Rajat started briefing her on the day's events and his achievements at his workplace. She listened to all of that intently. She in turn updated him about Neel and the tricks that he is upto these days.
She then mentioned about the Alumni meet taking place next week.
“You know Uma was asking if I can join" Tanvi said casually.
“It’s easy for her to say. She doesn't have a kid. I am sure you told her that you cannot leave Neel and come." Rajat asked without even looking at her.
"Of course I did" said Tanvi feebly and suddenly felt guilty for even having thoughts of leaving Neel at home.
That night Tanvi couldn't sleep. She was disturbed and kept tossing and turning in the bed all night. It was not that she was unhappy. She had a wonderful life. Rajat was a wonderful husband and she loved Rajat and Neel unconditionally. There was no denying that her world revolved around Neel and she was a hands on mother out of choice. She had resigned from her job after Neel’s arrival and wanted to experience motherhood to the fullest. She was busy all the time but she enjoyed every bit of it. But Rajat’s behavior today shook her. He could have once asked her if she wanted to go for the meet. That would have made her happy.
All of a sudden she realized that she had not stepped out of her home on her own after Neel’s birth. During weekends Rajat would go out to meet his friends and again taking care of Neel would be completely her responsibility. On some weekends his family would come over and then Rajat is pampered to no end with his favourite dishes being made. Having a busy job Rajat was expected to relax and laze around during weekends. But tonite she felt something different. She felt she was being taken for granted.
She was never like this before. Had motherhood changed her.
At that very moment she decided that she wanted to be a happy mother and not a frustrated and depressed one. She was resolute and had made her decision.
The next morning she told Rajat “I have decided to go for the Alumni meet”.
Rajat was about to protest but he espied the determination on Tanvi’s face and gave up.
“Don’t worry I will have everything organized so that you will not have a difficult time taking care of Neel. And when you do it regularly you will be an expert I am sure. After all you will doing that quite often in future when I take such short breaks” she added confidently and walked off.
This is just a story but we mothers often feel guilty for taking breaks from motherhood.
But it is important to take such short breaks and indulge in something you love doing. It could be anything like watching a movie or going out with friends. But make sure you do it because these breaks refresh and rejuvenate you. Do it so that your daughter knows it’s important to love oneself and be happy. Do it so that your son knows that the women in his life deserve to be happy.
And yes, don’t worry about being judged because even after being your best and giving your hundred percent you are being judged anyways.
Your journey of motherhood is not for others to criticize and evaluate but for you to enjoy!!