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A sweetest, cutest and one of the most innocent phase of childhood, free from worries and all. Just five years old baby of mine has got her attention towards this hazardous reality... the heart- rendering reality of the END of LIFE... End of emotions, End of companionship and End of Materialistic Love . When my little darling came to me with apparent havoc on her face and immense anguish and grief in her body-language, and just stating with huge helplessness, "Mamma Will you die when you grow old...?" That time in order to make her aware of the reality I committed the silliest mistake by nodding. And there only she burst into tears. Her heart as almost sank. She was howling as if she put herself into that harsh, cruel and barbarous situation that moment only. And this was not only first and last apprehension she showed... It became quite frequent... almost on an alternate day... and gradually on daily basis. In order to avoid such desolate-stricken state I just learned to say 'No' to her whenever she used to come to me with this devastating question. But now she had started linking up the reality with it and started exercising her brain. She had began to argue with feeble mindset, "Mamma... I know you will die... (sobbing more and more) first you will grow older and then you will die..." She was very hard to be pacified now. Only hugs and kisses used to work temporarily only. All of sudden on breakfast table in morning she started to shed herself into tears seeing few grey hair of her Dad. And this not only filled me also with an unwanted thought but just shattered the confidence also. To this she insisted to her Dad to get his hair colored in order to avoid that indispensable Reality- Reality of DEATH. But to my utmost surprise, after few days when she was haunted by this thought again, She this time was not being pacified with the idea of hers only... the idea to get hair colored. She at this early age was fully known to this indispensable Reality- Reality of DEATH.
This shook us (me and my hubby)from within completely. Although this alarming reality is obvious to the kids... but their apprehensive attitude is not apt for this tender early age. We realized that she must be over-sensitive. But then I came across many other people who had this apprehension... apprehension of loosing our loved ones. Being a teacher I got same thought based poem also where Kamala Das, a famous renowned Indian Poet, too, felt this fearful pain... pain of loosing her mother who had grown too old. While teaching when I asked my students that whether they too experienced this ugly apprehension ever in their life. To my utmost surprise the whole set of my students raised their hands. Then, I could detect that this is actually a universal apprehension. We all of us know that death is a bitter truth. But a thought of it for our near and dear ones is too untoward, unwelcomed and very disturbing to us. At one point or another we all go through this apprehension but sometime it comes like an intruder... may be in an early tender age.